Finally some time off!

I'm about to go to sleep but I figured I could just write this last post for tonight.

The musical was great! N you were right, I loved it too! The music was awesome then again ABBA will always and I really mean always be popular no matter the age of the person listening to their music since anyone can relate to their lyrics.

As the title says I'm finally getting some time off this next week starting with tomorrow. I think I'll only be working maximum 3 days this week so that's great.

Now that I don't have anything planned for tomorrow I think I might just take the chance and sleep a little bit longer tomorrow morning, nice!

Anyway that's all for tonight so I wish you all a great day/night depending on what time it is at your place ;)

Only in New York.

Picture: Collage made by me, pictures from DeviantArt and Gant

What can I say. It has always been a dream to celebrate Christmas in the US but another dream of mine is to experience fall as well. Hopefully I will someday.

I love the pictures above, they just give me this special feeling. If you haven't noticed (which I'm sure you have if you've been reading some of my latest posts) I'm dying for this year's autumn to come!

I am after all a fall/winter kind of girl ;) What season is your favourite?

When.

When the sun sets in the early morning I shall think of you. When the trees begin to whisper I will write you a letter, perhaps two, all I am sure of is that they might become quite a few.

When the first leaf falls I shall know that autumn has finally arrived. When the cool winds begin to blow I will open up my warm coat for you, happy to see that we both survived.

When this autumn's first rain falls I will hold your hand and prepare yourself for I will hold it tight.
When the storm rages on, one will see nothing but a black and empty sight.

When you have me in your arms promise me you will never let go. When the first snowflake falls I shall hate myself if I hear someone tell me "I told you so".

When the evening arrives I realize that you are gone and so is the warm sun. When it all comes down this turned out to be one of my dreams, one where I didn't seem to have any fun.

When the sun sets in the early morning I shall be up and I will think of you. When the trees begin to whisper I shall write your name with the colours of the wind, in that way you will always be the air that I breath in.

Mamma Mia!

Picture: The official poster

The other day my dad came home and surprised us all by saying that he had bought tickets for the "Mamma Mia" musical!

I've wanted to see it for a very long time and now after that I've seen "Mamma Mia" the movie I really think I should see the musical as well. The show is tonight and I'm sure it will be great, I better get ready before it's time for lunch. Have a great Sunday everyone!

Identity. Do you believe in faith, is it a part of your reality?

Once I was this skater-girl. I had jeans that were baggy, white nike air force ones, big silver earrings and pink accessoaries á la Missy Elliot but still I was as inescure as a little squirrel.

Trying my very best to find out the person I was aimed to be. I even went through a "Rastafari" period by the age of 16.

I had "thin" dreads (not the real ones though), wore the typical black, green, red colours and all I listened to was Bob Marley. Another episode is when I was a punk rocker, with black panda eyes and a leather jacket I was ready to go and yes I'm still waiting for that day when I'll hopefully be able to ride a Harley.

Suddenly I turned 18 and I realized that none of these previous episodes of my life never felt like it was "really me". For this is when I had my big breakthrough you see.

I tried on a dress, let my natural curls out and added some light make-up and that is when I felt for the very first time this is me, this is the person I was supposed to be.

As the years has gone by I have become more aware of my personal thoughts and where I stand in global discussions. To reflect upon other people, to try to understand why they think and act differently but also to be able to make difficult decisions.

All of these phases that I've mentioned above have all helped me to develop to the woman I am today. Surely we have all been looking and trying to establish one's identity and I'm happy that I turned out this way.

For all of you who are still looking, don't give up!

Just remain faith in yourself and remember that your family and friends will always love you for the person you are no matter what you'll wear. Neither does it matter what ever colour you decide to die your hair.

For those that are still struggling in life don't give up, tomorrow will be a better day! Remember the famous saying, which I try to live after and I really do remind myself of this every day, just like the ancient Roman lyric poet Horace once said, "Size the Day".

Only a dream away.

Picture: Life in the Valley Magazine

I was just googling "American Dream Houses" on the internet and suddenly I saw the picture as seen above and I fell completely in love with it.

There's nothing wrong with the Swedish architecture but when it comes to American houses there is something special about their designs that makes me go crazy about it. I mean these are beautiful houses (well not all of them of course..) and I know that I would love living in one.

I'm getting all blurry now I should probably try to get some sleep since I've got a long day tomorrow.

I just have to add that I'm so proud that I actually managed to write 4 posts today which is great considering the bad updates I've had just recently, hope you're happy about it too!

Anyway time for bed! I'm going to continue my dreaming of a beautiful American home in my sleep.. :) Sweet dreams!

A date I will always remember.

I still find it hard to believe that it took me almost all day to understand why I woke up feeling this way.

For today is not just any ordinary day, I checked my calender to find the note "One year and Three months" I still can't believe that it's been that long since you went away.

It feels like it was just yesterday that I saw your smiling face. I remember how much I wanted to say "please stay, don't go" as I would fall into your safe embrace.

A lot has happened during this time that you have been away. Feelings and thoughts that I have expressed here makes my heart shiver by the thought of us standing face to face, I wonder if I'll be able to express myself, will I have anything clever to say?

We'll see how it goes. Perhaps we'll have a great flow?

Anyway all I wanted was to point out the fact that it's been more than a year. Somehow you managed to help me get over that special fear.

No one can tell what will happen further on in the future. However, if something bad would happen I'm still glad to have many good memories of you, for I keep them all in my head just like an everlasting picture.

Like I said all I wanted to say is that today has been a special day filled of both happy and sad memories, today's magical numbers is a date I will always remember. A day when I let my heart surrender.

Inspiration for Autumn of 2008.

Picture: Collage put together by me, pictures found at H&M

This is what Swedish design is all about. Comfortable yet stylish classics, I proudly present "The New Classics" by Hennes & Mauritz. If I were to decide this is how I'd look throughout this season.

Complete Chaos.

I dare say that if I had let you take a look inside my bedroom right this second you would be chocked. Like the title says it's a Complete Chaos in here and yes I have heard one too many complaints from my parents which is why I really need to do something about it today and not tomorrow.

But before I'll start cleaning I just wanted to say that I'm very dissapointed with the range of fall/winter jackets this year. H&M has made too many jackets with "volume" while I prefer the classic model as seen on a duffel for example.

Anyway so we'll see if I stick to my old jacket or if I find a new one. I have also updated my list for the fall/winter - truly I can feel how it tickles in my fingers as I keep writing and it's all because of the fact that fall is on its way!

Not to mention, I'm already looking forward towards this year's Christmas and New Year's Eve!! Well hold it, one step at the time right? ;) I just can't help it but it feels so good to know that this is who I am.

A young woman with a heart addicted to the warm (as referred to the warm colours of the leaves and not the temperature!) and colourful autumn but also to the sparkling and magic winter. I can feel it in the air, can you? :)

Shontelle Layne - Tshirt.

Today's most played song in my iPod. I've probably heard it more than 100 times by now (!) and I must say that I did not find it difficult to relate to the lyrics which is probably the reason for why I've put out with it for the entire day :)

Anyway this is a song dedicated to all the beautiful women out there, you are all GREAT no matter what your men say! Please do remember that.

Here are the lyrics:

"Trying to decide, trying to decide if I, really wanna go out tonight.
I never use to go out without you, I'm not sure I remember how to.
I'm gonna be late gonna be late but, all my girls gonna have to wait cause,
I don't know if I like my outfit. I tried everything in my closet.

Nothing feels right when I'm not with you, sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos.
taking them off cause I feel a fool, trying to dress up when I'm missing you.
I'ma step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something Hanes.
in that I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on. Oh, with nothing but your t-shirt on.

hey, gotta be strong gotta be strong but I'm, really hurting now that you're gone.
I thought maybe I'd do some shopping, but I didn't get past the door and, now I dont know now I dont know if I'm, ever really gonna let you go and I, couldnt even leave my appartment. I'm stripped down torn up about it.

nothing feels right when I'm not with you, sick of this dress and these jimmy choos.
taking them off cause I feel a fool, trying to dress up when I'm missing you.
I'ma step out of this lingerie, curl up in a ball with something hanes.
in that I lay, with nothing but your t-shirt on.

(I'm all by myself with) with nothing but your t-shirt on, ohhh, with nothing but your t-shirt on (cause I miss you, cause i miss you) with nothing but your t-shirt on.

(I Said I miss you baby) ... "

Believe it or not, this is me complaining.

I just don't seem to have the energy anymore to write posts and to answer to comments (sorry D, I promise I'll make it up to you!).

It's just work work work and when I'm not working I'm either sleeping, running or spending time with family/friends. So I guess tonight's post will be about me complaining about not having enough time to do all those things one wish one could do.

Like now for instance, I really wish I had the energy to write another or perhaps two more posts for there are things that I wish to write about but I simply can't.

Why? Because as soon I have finished writing this sentence I'm going to bed. Exhausted as I am I wish you all a beautiful day/night as I say good night!

New Craving.

Picture: Tradera

Here in Sweden we have a similar website like Ebay but we call it "Tradera". You can sell and buy old things through the internet and recently there have been people adding new items which they are anxious to sell at a good price as well!

For instance this Marc Jacobs bracelet made of black leather with the Latin text saying "Datum Amore, Ad Defendendum" which if you translate it to English it means "Given in Love, For Protection". So I must admit that this item has become my latest craving!

Well enough said about that I really need to sleep now, got a long day in front of me tomorrow. First work, home get changed, meet the girls and have dinner in town (we're celebrating E's 20th birthday!) and later some party that they wanted to drag me to we'll see if I'll go since I've got my scholarshipceremony on Sunday at 11 AM.

Anyway, sweet dreams!

Talk on a countrywalk.

On a lonely hour I decide to go out for a late countrywalk. It's just me and mother nature walking side by side for I know that she's always there to listen whenever my heart needs to talk.

I let the sweet summerwind carry away with my light golden locks. As I pass an old and fallen oak I see the rings risted in the middle of the tree trunk, how they symbolize its life and its timeless clocks.

Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye the summerwind turns cool. I simply can not help it but once again I am reminded that I have been such a fool.

Hoping and praying for a miracle to happen. Being far too anxious to begin this trip I realize that I even forgot about my seatbelt and the way it needs to be fasten.

Like the loss of sunlight on a grey afternoon you had to be gone too soon. Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking how awful it must be for the sun not to ever be able to see the precious bright moon.

Shiny, sparkly and spectacularly bright you were here one day and gone one night. How odour and difficult it is for me to try to not think of you when signs that keeps reminding me of you keep showing up in my daily sight.

This I know for sure, you were born to amuse, to inspire and to protect your beloved ones. One day further on you will become a great and loving parent, a father to both beautiful daughters and amiable sons.

On a late lonely hour I decided to go out for a long countrywalk. Mother nature sends me one last warm summerwind that caresses my cheek with loving intentions to fill my heart with new strength and this will be the last sentence of our talk on this late countrywalk..

The Edge of Love.

Here is the trailer for one of Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller's latest productions. I can't seem to remember if I have ever seen these two fantastic women act towards each other in another film? Perhaps they haven't.

Anyway "The Edge of Love" had its premiere on the 20th of June in Dublin and I honestly can't wait until it will have its premiere in Sweden! Here's a movie that I have been longing to see.

One Last Poem.

With this novel I will end this chapter about my heart's misery. Tomorrow I will wake up with a great smile and a few special memories, the rest of it will be history.

For I believe that I have said it more than once before but this time it is for real, that's for sure. I have taken too much water above my head as I have been travelling in this dream for far too long and where all I have seen is an endless seashore.

There is nothing I shall ever have to regret. Instead, I have been left with many positive memories that will be difficult to never forget.

A special part deep within will forever be yours. By reading each and every word that I have put together for no one else but you I am sure that you will find it amusing and that you will very much enjoy these short little tours.

One must be a lucky person to be able to go back and to read about thoughts and feelings of another person in a previous time.

To me these poems will always be my best art put down in form of love letters. Through sunshine and through rain my writing has been my company, yes through all weathers.

In the end I did gain one of the most precious gifts any one could ever receive. For who would not want a true and long-standing friend? I will be there for you until the very end.

I will always see you as one of my very best friends.

The Corrs - What Can I Do.

First of all I want to apologize for the bad update! Yes I have been working which is one of the reasons for why I haven't had enough time to gather my thoughts on the blog and there have been some other things going on this week which has made my loose my energy completely, I will try to write a post about it tomorrow after work.

Anyway the reason for why I choose to publish this song called "What Can I Do" by The Corrs is because I have been listening to their old CD at work all week and I must say that I have always liked them, their lyrics and the fact that they are all siblings, I just think it would be way cool to start a band with both or atleast one of my brothers. I will press "hold" on that particular thought..

I have also sung this song before a few times at different events so I know the lyrics very well and I just think that it's a song one can and always will be able to relate to, surely most of us have been in a position like the one that the song tells us about.

Enough said for tonight, I should try to get some sleep, enjoy the song and I wish you all a great day/evening depending on what time it is at your place at the moment!

Only in your eyes.

Only in your eyes I can see that child smiling and having fun. A young boy with deep blue eyes and short golden hair that glitters in the reflection of the sun.

Only in your eyes I can follow this young soul as he leads me in to my heart's secret chamber. For that is the only place where I can find my answers to my questions and I must admit that I am scared for what might be hidden behind that red velvet door, could it mean danger?

Only in your eyes I can feel safe and frightened at the same time. Safe for being protected by someone as good as you and frightened for what might come later on in another time.

Only in your eyes thoughts put down in words may remain unspoken. For this is one of the secrets that is hidden inside my velvet chamber, I am afraid of being left alone, all heartbroken.

Only in your eyes I can see the light that keeps my soul's hope alive. A stream of magical dust comes out as tears from my eyes, the young boy takes my hand and together we dive.

Only in your eyes I can see that child smiling and having fun. If you never give up on him then neither shall I, for as long as we both shall live he will always be your special gift given to you by the love from the moon and the sun.

Only in your eyes I can see how that young boy makes your soul glow deep inside. Remember, he takes out what is best in you so do not let him hide.

New week.

Picture: DeviantArt

According to my calendar on the wall it's Monday again. I still can't believe we're in mid august? It feels like the time is just running away..

By the way, I'm sorry for the bad posting during this last weekend, my internet broke down and like I wrote on the previous post I had a full weekend off. So I had plenty of time to hang out with the family and do other paperwork at home.

Back to work this week, today more or less. Still I'm happy they said that I don't have to be at work until 12 AM and yet I end by 6 PM!

Enough of this, I think it's time to jump in to the shower. I'll write more later. Have a great day!

Three days off!

I can't believe it, I actually received some great news today. As the title says I'll be free for three entire days this weekend, friday until sunday!

I have only had one day here and there where I've been free so you must understand that this is big for me :)

Anyway since I've been working so much lately it's going to be good to have an entire weekend with my family, even though I still live with my parents it feels like I never see them? Strange isn't it?

Well like I said, I've got a good weekend in front of me but first - work tomorrow which is why I should try and get some sleep. Hope you've had a good day and so I wish you all a good night!

Baby let me drive your Mustang.

Picture: Remarkable Cars

The first time I saw a picture of this vehicle I felt completely hypnotized. It took me about four seconds then I realized that I had fallen in love with this beautiful classic 1966 Ford Mustang as seen on the picture above.

I don't know why but there was just something special about it and I have dreamt about driving one of these some day. Preferably it should be a black one, still the red cars are hot too! Since I can't afford one of these cars today I thought I might look for a similar car but in a model instead, you know those small "miniature" cars that are supposed to be a copy of the big original cars. Or perhaps a big poster? I would love to have a big poster in black and white of a similar car and hang on the wall above my bed.

This was everything else but a "girly-post" :) Haha what can I say, I'm proud of being a mustang lover! Do you have any favourite car?

Sleepless night.

Sleepless I lay awake tonight. There's a storm out here tonight that reminds me of never giving up for I believe in myself and in my inner light.

Still, the raindrops that keep falling outside my bedroom window is just a reminder of the endless nights I stayed up crying myself to sleep. Difficult emotions that were too hard for me to handle, this is the main reason for why I simply had no other choice but to weep.

I'm sure most of you must be thinking 'what a tragic little person she must be' writing nothing but tragedies in her blog. Well let me tell you this, if you were in my position I am sure many of you would have done the same if you had enterred such a confusing and emotional fog.

Somehow I still believe in you and me and our friendship that were just meant to be. This I can tell, you will always mean a great deal to me.

Sleepless I lay awake tonight. I try to think of happy thoughts to be able to fall asleep and so I close my eyes and all I can see is this beautiful sight.

A bright smile and two friendly eyes. Suddenly they're back again, yes I'm talking about those struggling butterflies.. I think I might just have found an end to this long and sleepless night.

John Mclaughlin - So close.

Tonight's most played song. Thanks D for mentioning his name, now I'm stuck here with his beautiful songs for the rest of the evening! Here are the lyrics so sit back and enjoy a lovely melody.

"You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far.."

I love it when it rains.

It's been an awful long day today. I've been working as usual but I was so happy when it started to rain around 5 pm this afternoon and it still hasn't stopped. Like the title says, I love it when it rains.

Anyway a new week has begun and all I got scheduled is work but I think I might have a few days off later this week towards the weekend which suits me very well :) I mean who doesn't want to be free on a weekend?

I'm meeting my good friend D tomorrow before work, I still can't believe it's been so long since we saw each other the last time. Time really does fly. This is all for now, I'm planning on posting a video later tonight and the song I've been listening to all night. Bye!

One thought.

Picture: "When dreams die" - DeviantArt

The thought has crossed my mind several times. The one thought that has been able to crush my struggling butterflies.

At times it erases all my hope. Those are the times when I feel like a complete dope.

It takes away all the positive energy that I carry deep inside. Tears always come streaming down my face as I am unable to control this infinite tide.

It always leaves my heart in the deepest despair. I just don't understand because it's not fair.

Just like ABBA sings, "The winner takes it all" I keep thinking that it's been more than a year this fall. For I have played all my cards and now I stand in front of you feeling so small.

All I ever wanted was to give you every part of me. There were so many things that I hoped were just meant to be.

Truly I am sorry if I ever let you down. I can't help but feeling ridiculous like a silly clown.

I just don't know what I am waiting for. At times like these when I feel completely lost I wonder if I entered the right door.

The one thought that bothers me from time to time is whether if I will ever be good enough for you?

For I keep thinking about all the good that I found in you. Still the thought makes my soul shiver inside, afraid that all of this might just be too good to be true..

Less than 4 hours of sleep.

It turned out to be a long day yesterday, I had to work and go out later last night which ended with less than 4 hours of sleep. Guess if I was "dead" this morning when I had to wake up at 8 AM after that I came home around 4.30?

Besides I overslept so I almost missed my train as I was heading towards work, I simply didn't have a good start of this new day. Luckily we didn't have that much to do at work and I ended early in the afternoon so the first thing I had to do when I came home was to sleep!

I'm still exhausted and feel like I have no energy to do anything.. Now I realize how important it is to sleep at least 7 hours every night. I will get better, I promise. Why not start now? Like I said, it's not like I want to do anything else so I might just call it the night.

Sorry if this turned out to be a negative (?) post.. But like I said, today wasn't just my day, there have been better days. Anyway hope you had a better day and I hope that it will continue that way!

Celebrities inspire.

The famous actress Diane Kruger at a social event.

Diane Kruger looking amazing at one of her premieres.

I have written previous posts about other celebrities such as Angelina Jolie, Sienna Miller etc because I have learnt that celebrities inspire us "mortals" in many different ways.

I can't remember if I have written about the German actress Diane Kruger before but if I have I don't mind doing it again! Among all the famous actresses around the world she is to be my favourite one when it comes to her endless beauty and good sense of style.

Diane Kruger inspires me with her natural make-up not to mention her "angelic" dresses, she keep showing up at different events and world premieres in fantastic gowns where in all of them she always appears to be an angel. She is my definition of eternal and natural beauty.