Thursday 31 January 2008

If you're not the one - Daniel Bedingfield.

A beautiful song which I have loved ever since I heard it the first time. Please observe that there are no "hidden messages" behind this song, I simply love the song and its beautiful lyrics, that's all. Here are my favourite parts. Enjoy!

"If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today? If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call? If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings. But I know you are here with me now.
We'll make it through. And I hope you are the one I share my life with.

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand. If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed? If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

...

I don't know why you're so far away. But I know that this much is true.
We'll make it through. ..."

Summer of 2008.

This last week I've been talking to some of my best friends and apparently people are making plans now in January (!) for the summer of 2008! Am I the only one who thinks it's crazy? It feels as if it's so far away.

Anyway it seems as if I'll be spending the summer working, working and working a lot. That's my plan anyway, we'll see how it goes.

I don't know if I will be able to "squeeze" in some vacation because I'm saving every penny (or in this case "öre") to be able to have a longer vacation, perhaps two or three weeks later this fall/winter in the US.

Like I've written so many times before, I would love to celebrate christmas/new year's eve there! It's time to stop this daydream of mine :P I better finish the homework for tomorrow maybe I'll write more later.

Fashion Against AIDS.

Picture: H&M

"Someone in the 15-24 age group contracts AIDS every fifteent seconds." - Kate Roberts founder of YouthAIDS. Am I the only one who feels frightened after reading the quote above? I hope not.

The Swedish clothing company H&M has started a new campaign which they call "Fashion Against AIDS" which is based on a special cooperation between world known artists and other celebrities and one of H&M's designers Ninette Murk, who also is the founder of Designers Against AIDS (DDA). Together they have created mostly t-shirts and other sweatshirts which now can be found at different H&M stores within Asia, Europe & North America.

The idea with this campaign was to make sure that the young people all over the world understand the big risks of receiving an infection if they choose not to protect themselves, which later could develop into AIDS. This could be seen as a modern attempt to receive young people's attention through fashion.

Since I most recently became an environmental activist I must say that I was very happy when I read this; "Every artist designed at least one piece of clothing, and then H&M produced this Fashion Against AIDS collection - in 100 % organic cotton, of course - that is now selling in stores." Fantastic isn't it? Wait there is more! :)

"25 % of the sales proceeds are donated, through DDA and YouthAIDS, to raise awareness and prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS worldwide."

Therefor tomorrow afternoon I will go out and try to find one of these t-shirts! This is, according to me, the best cooperation that H&M has done through its history.

Good night.

Picture: Private - Sunset at my place - Taken by me on the 28th of July 2007, such a beautiful sunset, one of many that I wish I could have shared with you.

Suddenly I feel so small. I wish you could be lying in the next room, behind my white wall.

The truth is that you're not hear and instead you are far away. There are a few particular words I would like to say.

Good night, sleep tight.

I'm sure you have your schedule for tomorrow and the other things that must fit into your plans. I do too, still I find myself struggling through each day that passes me by, writing small notes upon my hands.

Please don't wait up for me. All I want is for you to get a good night's sleep.

One thing I have understood. I know I'm not alone, even though you're not in my neighborhood.

I know I'm not the only one who's scared, I must be honest, I have been far too hard on myself.

I could sit here all night. Still, these are my last words, good night.

Wednesday 30 January 2008

Stay in contact through Internet.

As I was walking home from the family where I had been babysitting earlier tonight several thoughts crossed my mind.

The other day I had a long conversation with a good friend of mine where she told me everything about her new boyfriend and how she fell in love with him through the Internet.

They had met for a short period of time last summer here in Stockholm and kept their contact afterwards (she lives here in Stockholm - he lives in Gothenburg) by writing emails to each other and talking through the new modern "telephone" called Skype which is like a normal phone call except you're calling through the Internet.

I'm sorry for explaining it so bad, to be honest I've got far much more to learn about it.

Anyway so the thought hit me. Can you really fall in love with someone that you maintain contact with through the Internet? I believe most people would probably say no, since it will never be the same "feeling" such as the one you experience while you're both together, physically so to speak.

Still, hearing my friend talking about their relationship and how wonderful it had been to receive emails from him every week - she is really happy. I'm glad it worked out between them.

Besides, as many of you probably already have understood I might be in a similar situation. I told her about it and she had to say was: "Sofia, promise me one thing. Don't give up on it." At first I didn't understand what she was talking about but after a while it hit me.

I didn't know what to say to her, I mean I couldn't possibly promise her something like that? Could I?

Anyway I said I had to think about it and haven't let go of the thought since then. I wish I could make up my mind now but I honestly don't know how. I'm sorry this is getting far to "blurry" for you to understand what I'm writing about right now.

I think I might call it the night now and try to get some sleep. May you all have a good day tomorrow. I promise I will get back to the subject, probably tomorrow afternoon. Sleep tight!

Tuesday 29 January 2008

A true love story.

Picture: DeviantArt

Where do I begin? To tell the story of the first day I ever let my eyes rest on him..?

I remember it perfectly clear. He had the most beautiful voice anyone could hear.

His deep blue and crystal eyes filled my heart with joy and with struggling butterflies. His smile made me feel complete, a feeling no one could ever defeat.

Now how does this true love story end..? Did she ever become more than just a friend..?

(To be continued..)

Monday 28 January 2008

Emotional evening.

When I thought that I had cried enough for tonight after having such an emotional evening then I must tell you my dear reader, I was wrong. For here I am, lying inside my bed with my laptop on my knees, it's passed midnight and I'm still listening to yet another wonderful song.

For I have carried this special thought inside my head all day. It simply has to do with today's date, something that happened six months ago, yes on the 28th of May.

I remember the day perfectly clear. It was the very last time that you were near.

It still feels like it was yesterday that we were talking to each other in the subway station in city, exchanging our emails and our very last words. To see you walk away, footstep by footstep, felt like my heart had been stabbed by a thousand silver swords.

I had to fight against my tears, I did not let them out, no not until you had disappeared. If you would have stayed and seen my face everything would have felt so wierd.

These last months have certainly felt like a roller coaster, especially when it comes to my feelings. For quite some time I simply could not understand life itself and its many meanings.

Still here I am, with eyes filled with tears and a heart that just wishes to reach out to you. I believe I have said it before and it is nothing but the truth, I truly miss you.

Days, weeks, months flies by. I wish I had been given wings to be able to fly.

Our memories are safe inside my heart. You have your own special part.

In the end all I want, is to see that big beautiful smile of yours upon your charming face. I close my eyes as I go to sleep, dreaming that I could be lying in your warm and safe embrace.

Everywhere - Michelle Branch


Today's most played song.

"Turn it inside out so I can see,
The part of you that's drifting over me,
And when I wake you're, you're never there,
But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere,
You're everywhere.

...

'Cause you're everywhere to me,
And when I close my eyes it's you I see,
You're everything I know,
That makes me believe,
I'm not alone,
I'm not alone.

And when I touch your hand,
It's then I understand,
The beauty that's within,
It's now that we begin,
You always light my way,
I hope there never comes a day,
No matter where I go,
I always feel you so.

...

You're in everyone I see,
So tell me,
Do you see me?"

This year's best news.

Four months we have been waiting for any news about your condition. We have all supported you through this long and difficult time and we will never leave your side because for me this has now become a clear vision.

None of us can imagine what it has been like for you, your heart, soul and mind but I have been there trying to watch over you. For this will always be true, I honestly love you.

The angels must have heard all of our heart's deepest prayers and I simply can not describe the happiness I am feeling inside. Tears are streaming down my face, a joy, a smile all of these feelings I simply can not hide.

For today we received probably this year's best news and I must say I knew you would make it. I feel so honoured to have received such a beautiful present from the angels above, truly this is a very special gift.

Thank you for giving us more time. It even makes me rime.

From the deepest part of my heart I want to thank all of our special family members and friends who has been there for us. It truly has meant the world to all of us.

Sunday 27 January 2008

Me, after You.


Picture: DeviantArt

This is me, after you.
After your call, after your smile, after your existance..
This is me, after you.


*Maybe, just maybe I might be able to reach your wide and muscular shoulders if I stand on my toes like this?*

Busy week.

After a wonderful weekend I am ready to handle yet another busy week. I am happy that I got a new calender for my birthday because I now no longer need to keep everything inside my head but instead can write everything down.

Anyway I probably should try to go to sleep earlier tonight since I have to wake up early tomorrow.

First I shall take a shower and if I still got the energy (which I assume I will) I'll write a last post before calling it the night. I hope you've had a great weekend! Later!

Bring Me To Life - Evanescene.

I always listen to this song when I'm out running. It's a great song with good lyrics too.

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors, leading you down into my chore,
where I've become so numb without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold, until you find it there and lead it back home.
... Bring me to life."

A few laps around the neighborhood.

The sun is on it's way down. In a few hours it will be dark again so I figured that if I want to go outside and enjoy the last sunbeams from the sun I better do it now.

Meanwhile I think I will take a few laps around the neighborhood. I think it will do be good.

My, my, another rhyme :) And here is another one, I shall get back to you perhaps tonight or it could also be at another unexpected time.

365 days -> 12 months -> 1 year.

Picture: Made by me in Photoshop

People have always said that "time flies while you're having fun". I agree with the statement and to be honest I still can't believe that it's been exactly 365 days -> 12 months -> one year today since I started this blog.

The journey has been like a roller coaster, my mood has gone up and down several times during this last year. I believe I have changed, hopefully to the better and that my writing skills have improved a lot better.

Anyway I guess all I really wanted to say is, "Happy Birthday" dear blog! And a special thank you to all of my wonderful readers out there. I must remind those of you who might not be familiar to why I have been keeping this blog.

Why would anyone want to publish their thoughts, feelings and other things on the Internet? Some people will never be able to understand (I'm referring to the elder generation and perhaps there might be some in the new as well) how it's like to have a blog, for me it is sort of a diary.

I have kept a diary before but in today's modern world most of us youngsters use our computers several times during the day. Perhaps we have become lazy for not wanting to write this down on paper but it is a far better comfort to sit down writing on the keyboard than to be struggling with a pen. Don't get me wrong though, I love to write by hand as well.


Most of the things that I publish is for my own sake I often call it my "special corner" where I can write about whatever I like and if there are people who would like to take part of my life, feelings and thoughts then they are more than welcome to read my posts and perhaps there are people going through the same dilemmas such as myself and then a few words or lines might be able to cheer them up? At least I hope they do.

This is my blog where I write about things that interest me, publish photographs/songs that inspire me and write down my life experiences through poetry.

These are simply the words from a newly become 20-year old woman and how she sees the world we live in. If it's interesting? I don't know that is up to you my dear reader to decide.
All I know is that I am quite happy if you would like to stick around and stay here by my side.

Saturday 26 January 2008

How I became such a naive reader.

I have been such a dreamer. All these fantasies I have been reading has turned me into such a naive reader.

Stories that filled the empty gaps inside my heart with hope and persuaded me to keep searching for the one. For I have been so blind I can not believe all the things that I have done.

One look, one whisper or one word would silence me forever. To be lucky enough to experience a happy ending as the one's described in all the
lovable novels is certainly most unlikely, it will not happen today, not tomorrow probably never.

It feels as if I have been living in so many beautiful dreams. Suddenly nothing appears to be the way it seems.

No look, no whisper not even the smallest word. Once again I am left in yet another dissapointment in this sad and troubled world.

I believe I have said it many times before but tonight I am completely commited to myself. I simply can not go on this way and I simply can not look at myself as if I was a little elf.

I am capable to do so much more. I have so much to give and goals worth fighting for.

Still memories can never be erased from one's heart. I believe it to be one of the most precious treasures that we carry inside of ourselves for in my eyes it is an invaluable art.

This was the very last part. Once again, here is yet another confession straight from the deepest corners inside my heart.

Beautiful Birthday.

Picture: Private - The amazing cake that my mom made for me! You're the best I love you! (Click on it to see a better/bigger picture of it!)

Wow I am speechless. It's been such a terrific weekend and I am so happy for how my birthday turned out!

It all began with a lovely dinner with my best friends last night at one of the great Greek restaurants here in Stockholm. We ate a lot of good food, talked about many of the memories that we share, laughed and had a really good time.

I guess I don't say it too often but I promise I will do my very best to tell you girls how much I love you! You're the greatest!

After a long day/night yesterday I was happy that my family let me sleep this morning. It was really nice to wake up to the sound of their singing "Happy Birthday" as they came in to my room with so many flowers, cards and other presents.

Later in the afternoon we also ate the delicious cake as seen on the picture above! The cutest thing was that my mom had bought exactly 20 candles! So I made a wish and blew them out. I think that's what you are supposed to do right? ;)

If you haven't noticed, I have tried to add some pictures from the celebration yesterday and from today, if you want to see them then all you have to do is to click on the picture of the rose on the right side of my blog. I hope you'll find it.

I want to thank all of my family members, friends, relatives and other people that made my 20th birthday such a beautiful birthday! I feel so blessed to have so many good people around me, who love me and care about me. Thank you, you're the best!

Have a great evening, I think I might go upstairs and grab another piece of the delicious cake.. :P Later!

Friday 25 January 2008

Friday night out!

I am so excited - I am so happy - I am so thrilled! :) Haha I don't know how else I could describe all the feelings I'm having right now. I can't seem to find the "perfect" word to it but I think you get it anyway ;)

Finally it's Friday meaning Friday night out! I'm going out to eat a lovely dinner with my best friends and to celebrate my birthday, well I don't turn 20 until 04.26 ;)

Anyway I'm leaving in less than two hours and I have so many things to prepare so I better get started! I wish you all a great weekend!

You'll probably hear more from me later tonight or tomorrow afternoon since I don't know when I will have time to write a post since all I will be hearing tomorrow is "happy birthday.." :) Got to go, ciao!

Thursday 24 January 2008

Memorable thoughts on today's special date.

Picture: Private - Beautiful stones on an amazing beach plus my hand as seen on the picture. Taken by me when I was in Greece, summer of 2007

When I woke up this morning and looked at my calender and saw today's date my heart made me smile. This is nothing but the truth and no ridiculous lie.

For today it's been four months since I received your very first e-mail after almost four months of waiting since you went away in May. So long time had passed, I had waited the entire summer to hear from you but not a single word, I didn't know what to think or what to say.

My thoughts were with you the entire summer as you can see on the picture above. This picture was taken on a beautiful beach in Greece where I had found these amazing stones which I placed on the sand and formed them like our first letters. If only you had known then how much I missed you my love.

The summer ended and I thought I would never hear from you again. Suddenly on the 24th of September I received an e-mail from you my dear friend.

There are not enough words to describe how amazed I was and the joy I felt inside my heart when I read it. After all this time it felt like you were back again, the angels must have heard my prayers and they had now sent me this beautiful gift.

I feel so blessed to have you as one of my closest friends in my life. For every time I think of you it always make me smile.

Celebration.

Another week is going towards its end - I can't believe it's Friday tomorrow! Yay!

Most of you have probably understood that I will have a long weekend where I will be celebrated by my family and friends in different ways. I'm really excited about it! Besides that my dear blog will also turn 1 year on Sunday :)

"Time flies when you're having fun" - I really have had a great time while I've been writing, I believe this is my 635th post! Wow I didn't know I had written that many.

Anyway my plans for this evening is to take a shower and to lie in bed watching the new "Jane Austen Book club" I hope you will also have a great day/evening!

Simply the Best.

The clip above is a short video of the pianist Jon Schmidt while he plays one of his most famous songs called "All of Me" live.

I have heard and seen many excellent pianists but I must say that I have never seen anyone play with such enthusiasm and joy such as Jon Schmidt. Not to mention his excellent work, there is not one song I haven't felled completely in love with.

Listen to it and enjoy!


Please don't bother speaking to me if you know that tomorrow you will remember nothing but zero, Please don't bother rescuing me if you don't want to be my hero,

Please don't bother to hold my hand unless you don't want to hold it in public, Please don't say you care about me if it's just a trick,

However, if you do remember what we talked about yesterday, please would you like to call me again tomorrow?

If you do want to hold my hand at all times, to show the rest of the world that you are the happiest man on earth then, you are welcome to grab it at anytime,

If you do care about me please be honest and say it to me, For you would make me the happiest woman on earth if you would let me in inside your heart knowing that you wanted to have not just a few pieces here and there but instead my heart, soul yes, all of me.

This I promise You.

Sometimes you make me so frustrated. To hear you say that I am not trying hard enough to reach my dreams and goals is just something that makes me irritated.

I may have said that I truly want to do certain things in life, such as travel and to see certain places. For one of the things that I appreciate the most is to gain new
acquaintances and to meet new faces.

I thought you would understand that one can not just "drop" everything and go? We all have duties in our jobs/schools, responsibility to live up to, other activities that we need to attend to, I know all of this because my parents have always told me so.

I have promised myself to go but right now is not the time. All I know for certain is that it will take place and at the latest before I turn twentynine.

You might think that you have been impatient for wanting me to come so soon. If that is the case then you have no idea of what I have been through, for I have waited so long, all the lonely nights that I have cried myself to sleep underneath the bright full moon.

My heart's deepest wish is to stand in front of you, face to face and to be able to enjoy your beautiful smiles. This is when reality breaks through my dream and reminds me of the distance between us, all of those long miles.

This I promise you, I give you my word and please believe me when I say that I am trying to arrange something as soon as possible to see you again. Until then, take care my dear friend.

Wednesday 23 January 2008

Actor Heath Ledger dies at 28.

Picture: Collage of Heath Ledger made by me, photos from google

As I sat on the train earlier this morning after having a chaotic morning where I overslept and almost missed the train, I thought that nobody could have had a worse morning than me. I was wrong.

I started to read today morning's newspaper when I suddenly was hit by reading the chocking headlines in one of the articles on the front page, "Heath Ledger found dead in his appartment".

According to CNN who wrote "New York - Actor Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday of a possible drug overdose in a Lower Manhattan apartment, the New York Police Department said.

Ledger was found naked and unresponsive, facedown on the floor at the foot of his bed by a housekeeper trying to wake him for an appointment with a masseuse, said police spokesman Paul Browne.

"Pills were found in the vicinity of the bed," he told CNN.

"This is being looked at as a possible overdose, but that is not confirmed yet."

Browne later told reporters some prescription medications were found in the room, including sleeping pills.

But he stressed police have made no determination of the cause of Ledger's death -- that would be done by the medical examiner. Ledger was found at about 3 p.m., and was pronounced dead at the scene by emergency personnel about 3:30 p.m."

What a tragedy! My thoughts are with his family, former fiancé Michelle Williams, their daughter Matilda Rose only 2 years old and his friends across Australia and America.

He was such a brilliant actor, fellow creature, brilliant father and friend.

As I lighten a candle here and now in my room I just want to say may you rest in peace Heath Ledger. We will never forget you.

Tuesday 22 January 2008

Buried in books.

Unfortunately I am in a very busy period right now. I've got a big test coming up next weeek which I believe will be very difficult since I have reached a much harder level of mathematics now.

But as I have mentioned earlier I will turn 20 years old on this particular Saturday (the 26th of January). My plans are to spend Friday night with my best friends and to be celebrated by my family during the weekend.

I will get back to you on that and I will try to take some pictures from my "big evening" :) Time for a warm shower I don't know why I'm so cold?

Anyway I might wright another post later but until then I wish you to have a great morning/evening!

Monday 21 January 2008

Good night.

Picture: DeviantArt

It's time to get some sleep so good night, sleep tight!

Certain memories never die.

I still remember how it used to be when you were here. It feels like it was yesterday and I was so happy to have you near.

Those precious moments keeps my heart warm during days like these when everything is grey and cold. For I have said it many times before, your charming personality and the way you always make me smile, the truth is that I am completely sold.

My heart is still filled with hope for what will come. I wish I could visit you and to see your lovely home.

The opportunity will come so I will be waiting, everlasting like the sun. I can not wait to hear your laughter again, smile with you and most important above all to have fun!

Still there are thoughts that trouble my mind. I honestly wish that I could have left them far behind.

For I can not help to be afraid that this dream of mine will slip through my fingers just like the sands of time. One thing is for certain, all the memories will forever be saved inside my heart and so will all my reflections in my mind.

For in my dearest dreams I will always see you as if you would have been mine. For there are certain memories that never die.

Today's song.

I proudly present, the King of Pop - Michael Jackson "Heal the World"

Sunday 20 January 2008

Sunny Sunday.

I am feeling so happy, I had a great day and (notice!) a Sunny Sunday - atleast it was during the morning because in the afternoon the clouds came back again and suddenly the sky turned grey.

I went to town to meet up with my good friend C after lunch and we sat down at John Chris' Coffee and drank hot chocolate. Later in the afternoon I went to the church to have an evening worship together with all the friends I met when I went to Taizé, France last fall.

For some reason it felt like my soul gained so much hope and because of that I felt really good inside as I walked home from the train.

Anyway tomorrow starts yet another new week and I am quite anxious about next Friday when I'm going out with my best friends and later at 04:26 the next day (Saturday the 26th) I'll be 20.

I still think it's crazy and all for this is my last week as a teenager and after that comes responsibility and the fact that I really have to "grow up" - where is Peter Pan when you need him anyway? Someone please take me to Neverland! :)

Sometimes sleeping is the best thing..

Picture: Private - My youngest brother caught me with his camera when I was sleeping

With my laptop on my knees I sit on my bed ready to go to sleep. I keep listening to Jimmy Eat World and suddenly I start to weep.

I embrace my pillow in an attemption to make all my heart's sorrows go away. I have to be strong, I still don't know whether if this is right or wrong, for tomorrow awaits another new day.

What would you think of me now? Because I know that this must be weakness in your eyes, I just wish I could stop it, if only someone could tell me how.

I guess that sleeping sometimes is the best thing. For I can always see you when I sleep, in my most beloved dream, I am on a big stage and it is to your honour that I choose to sing.

The biggest mystery for me is why I always feel so lucky, so strong and so proud whenever you are around? Hearing your voice is according to my heart and soul the most beautiful sound.

The truth is about to be told. I long to fall asleep now to be able to see that charming face of yours again, I am sorry if I came out being too bold.

Good night my dear friend, a special thought to you I now send. I'll see you soon on the other end.

Saturday 19 January 2008

"Raindrops keep falling on my head.."

Saturday again. It feels really good to have some free time during the weekend so tonight my two best friends are coming over to have dinner with us and watch one or two movies afterwards.

Besides, I am cooking tonight! I haven't decided what to do yet but I'm practising my cooking skills and I have the best tutor - my mom! Who is fantastic in the kitchen, so I'm quite positive that it will be something delicious.

By the way, I heard on the news just yesterday that the weather people had suggested that we all should keep indoors today! Why? Because a huge storm came in last night and it's still raining so much, I mean literally it is poring down and it's been raining like this since last night and I must say that it ruined my sleep!

Anyway so I guess I will try to stay indoors as much as possible today. Still I think that it is the perfect weather to cuddle up with blankets and pillows in the couch and enjoy a good movie! In other words I think tonight is going to be very nice indeed.

I better get dressed but before that I just turned on the song "Raindrops keep falling on my head.." by the one and only Frank Sinatra - talking about that I'll be in the right mood the entire day :) May you also have a good day!

Friday 18 January 2008

White Rose.

Picture: DeviantArt


******

You are friendly, kind and caring
Sensitive, loyal, and understanding
Humorous, fun, when I am with you I always feel secure
This I promise you to be true
Always there.. yes that is you.

Special, accepting, exciting and wise
Truthful and helpful, with honest blue eyes
Amiable, forgiving, cheerful and bright
Yes that is you, I fell for your inspiring light

You are one of a kind, different from others
Generous, charming, if someone would say something bad about your character - my advise to you is don't bother

Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and always with a big smile on your face
I wish I could lie in your arms for there I will always be safe
With a heart as big as an ocean, warm and precious like gold
Our friendship won't wither or ever grow old

For I dream and wish that you will always be there
People like you are so hard to find in other words they are very rare
There is not a single day when my thoughts are not with you
For this is my confession; I truly miss you.

Finally Friday.

I just came home from town after having a long day of nothing but maths and I must say that I am really happy that it's finally Friday.

So I'm going to watch a movie now and listen to the raindrops that keep falling on my window. (It's been raining the entire day!)

Anyway I hope you will all have a good Friday!

Thursday 17 January 2008

New layout.

Picture: Jane Austen

As a certain good friend of mine and who I see as a beloved sister, miss D, pointed out in the previous post I have yet again done some changes to my blog's layout.

For many months I have tried to vary it because I simply haven't found the "perfect" layout which should symbolize "me" meaning my personality, interests and so forth. Still I believe that this one will suit me well - for now I do not know when I might change my mind and might have to change it again but I am quite happy about the result and I know I will try to enjoy it as much as possible and I do hope that you will too!

Me a Jane Austen fan? I have never heard such a thing! I am just teasing you dear reader, for I believe it to be quite obvious that I am. As you can see I choose to create a new theme for my layout where I found most of my inspiration within a new favourite
authoress Jane Austen and her terrific novels.

As I have written before I am a "sucker for romance" and I believe that there are many women out there who would agree with me when I say that the great love stories portrayed in the novels sometimes seems to be better than love in reality, for not everyone have their own "Mr. Darcy/Mr.Tilney" to spend their life with. In fact I wonder where all men who would recognize themselves as the characters I just mentioned are?

It is not all just body and muscles that most females are looking for, no but instead a man who has his own thoughts and ideas, someone who appreciates us for our own character and individual personality. The list could go on forever. Still I would say that there is simply to little "romance" in our world today, most people blame the lack of time and busy careers. I think it is a sad phenomenon.

I wonder how much better life would be for all of us if every time we had a thought or an inclination to do something nice for someone, we just did it. Please think of it, tomorrow could be an excellent day to make someone that you care about happy by surprising them by telling them how much you care for her/him or by simply giving a compliment.

It does not have to be a "big thing" but instead I love it when a friend/family member says something positive to me when I least expect it. For it does not happen everyday.

I have to go now, thank you for taking your time reading my blog, may you have a great morning/evening!

Wednesday 16 January 2008

Let us take a walk.

I step outdoors to take a walk on this January evening. The cool wind caresses my face as I stroll down the street. If it had been morning I would have heard the little blue bird sing.

The sun is seen far away in the beautiful skyline. Golden colours and the lightest shade of pink have melted together and created this breathtaking sight. I wish it not to be gone by the end of the evening even though I am aware that it will be replaced by a thousands stars when my watch strikes nine.

How much I love to walk during the evening for it is always nice to have some refreshing air before going to bed. It is getting dark now and I believe I should go back. Suddenly something hit me on top of my head.

As I am easily frightened I took a few fast steps forward and did not bother to look behind. It was not until I realized that I had been hit by an acorn that a big smile appeared upon my face. Finally I am home and it feels good to have gained some clarity inside my mind.

Good night, sleep tight.

After rain comes sunshine.


Picture: DeviantArt

What an awful day it's been here today. Seriously, it's been raining the entire day! January usually is a winter month here in Sweden, like December we should have snow.

Although this year there was no snow :( I think that this might be one of the changes that we will have to get used to considering the changes of our climate.

As the title says "After rain comes sunshine" and that is precicely what I am hoping for tomorrow! Sorry I got to go, time to prepare some dinner for my hungry two younger brothers or else - they might eat me! :P Have a great day/evening!

Tuesday 15 January 2008

Tonight's prayer.

May the angels protect you at times like these when I can't sit next to you. You did very well today, we're all so proud of you. Just remember one thing, you are never alone.

May your tears come from laughing I know that you will find new friends worth having. Just remember to always keep smiling. You are never alone.

Even though reality's cold winds will keep on coming you must not give up but instead keep on fighting. For we will all stand by your side and if you would loose your grip just hold on to my wing. You are never alone.

What comes with the future is still unknown and we will not let you face it all by yourself, no because like I have said earlier, you are never alone.

Our love for you will follow you, stay with you, because you will never be alone.

Monday 14 January 2008

For me a ring means Hope.

Picture: Private - My gold ring inside "Northanger Abbey" by Jane Austen

There is no other symbol as beautiful as a circle. Life itself is said to be a wonderful miracle. This golden ring I carry on my right finger. It fills me with beautiful memories from the day I decided to become a professional singer.

I was twelve years old. I actually prefer jewelleries made in gold. As I was reading a few lines in Jane Austen's famous "Northanger Abbey" I caught myself smiling.

For the young heroine Catherine Morland reminded me of how I used to be when I had just turned sixteen. I thought I had experienced my first true love, my first real boyfriend and I must say that he was very keen. How wrong I was then to think of him in that way. I did not understand the meaning of it then no not until last May.

All love stories portrayed in Austen classic novels always have a happy ending and "Northanger Abbey" is no exception. Mr. Tilney and Ms. Morland declare their passionate love for each other and their strong affection. I wish life and love itself could be less complicated in reality. All there is today is nothing but pure vanity.

I hold my golden ring in my hand knowing that it will always mean a great deal to me throughout all time. Hopefully one day I will wear another ring on my left finger, it will be the day when two become one. This I promise you, whoever my heart chooses I know deep down my heart that I will never leave his side.

Headache.

I didn't sleep very well last night which could be the reason for why I'm so tired right now, on top of that I got a headache so I think I might go to bed earlier tonight and really try to get some sleep.

I've heard that it's not healthy to sleep less than 6 hours/night so I think I might have to change a few things so that I can try to sleep more. I'm going to get ready for bed, hope you all had a good day!

Fergie - Clumsy.

What other song could explain my little "accident" earlier today better than this song sang by Fergie?

Haha it's funny because I've been listening to it all afternoon. Let's just say, today wasn't "my day". You Rock Fergie! :)

I pulled out my leg and suddenly we were introduced.

Good afternoon dear reader, I can't believe it's already 4 PM? (Swedish time) The day has passed so quickly!

Anyway I just got home from a crazy day in town, studying maths and I have a funny store to tell you of something that happened earlier this morning.

Normally when I'm on my way to meet someone, a family member/friend or if I'm just heading towards town and I need to go and catch the train I literally always have to run because I tend to be a little late, (read: very late) sometimes.. So you could probably ask anyone in my family or one of my closest friends they would all say that I'm always in a "run" so to speak.

Anyway this morning was a very special morning because I had all the time in the world and I didn't have to run to the train because I simply had planned my morning and my time unlike all other mornings.

So I came to school earlier, 15 minutes to be exact and I was the only student there, sitting on the bench outside our classroom like a little "nerd", reading "
Northanger Abbey" by Jane Austen and listening to soft melodies that were played by Jon Schmidt inside my earphones. Quite a nice morning, don't you think? Well suddenly it gets worse.

I was in another "world" because I didn't see or hear that one of my classmates was coming towards me down the hall.

I didn't see him until I suddenly decided to "stretch/pull" out my leg when he suddenly trips over my foot and falls down in front of me with his books flying out of his arms and landed on the floor in front of him.

I got so scared and chocked over the terrible accident and I believe I said "I'm so sorry" about 1000 times afterwards while he was sitting on the floor in front of me, I bet he was a bit chocked too. Obviously I turned red like a big tomato and I felt so embarrassed when I had to ask him if he was alright.

He just looked at me and suddenly he started to laugh and said that he was perfectly fine, a bit chocked perhaps but nothing seemed to be broken. After a few minutes when he had collected all his books and he sat down next to be on the bench we began to talk about the class and whether if we had done the homework etc.

I had never spoken to him before, not until now. He seemed like a nice guy and he sure made me laugh when he said that it was his fault that he tripped and not mine even though I knew that if I hadn't pulled out my leg he would never have fallen.

So to summarize it I simply pulled out my leg and suddenly we were introduced and the story does not end here, nope, he also invited me to go and drink chocolate with him on Thursday afternoon (since I don't drink coffee) and I thought that it seemed like a good idea, I believed I owed him that after the "accident".

Sofia strikes again - I can't believe how I could be so clumsy? Anyway I guess it happens to all of us, right..?

Sunday 13 January 2008

A beautiful old Oak tree.

Picture: An old Oak - DeviantArt

Another day has passed us by. Another day I haven't been able to cry.

Happy thoughts is all I have inside. No more worries, no more fears I have to hide.

You lifted up my heart when it was heavy, it felt as if you had brought the whole navy.

I will never be able to explain how much you really mean to me. I don't know how I can make you see.

These feelings I have for you deep inside will grow older than the big oak tree..

Spanish Poem.

Mi vida es hermosa porque existes tu,

Hermosos son mis dias porque veo tu luz,

Llevas ese fuego que hay en mi corazón,

para toda mi vida tu eres la razón..

Alicia Keys - Like You'll Never See Me Again.

Picture: Private - Me (fixed in Photoshop)

"Every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you'll never see me again

Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you'll love me
Love me like you'll never see me again..."

- Lyrics from Alicia Keys song "Like You'll Never See Me Again"

Love.

"Love is begot by fancy, bred
By ignorance, by expectation fed,
Destroyed by knowledge, and, at best,
Lost in the moment 'tis possessed."

- George Granville (1667-1735) -

Sum 41 - Pieces.

This is also one of my favourite songs by Sum 41. I've been listening to it a lot over the last year, it's one of those songs I haven't heard for quite some time and suddenly you like them a lot again.

Anyway it's a great song so go ahead and listen to it, I also wrote down the lyrics to it down below.

"I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it.
I don't believe it makes me real.
I thought it would be easy, but no one believes me.
I meant all the things that I said.

If you believe it's in my soul I would say all the words that I know.
Just to see if it would show. That I'm trying to let you know.
That I'm better off on my own.

This place is so empty. My thoughts are so tempting.
I don't know how it got so bad.
Sometimes it's so crazy that nothing can save me.
But it's the only thing that I have.

If you believe it's in my soul, I would say all the words that I know.
Just to see if it would show. That I'm trying to let you know.
That I'm better off on my own.

On my own.

I tried to be perfect but nothing was worth it.
Nothing could ever be so wrong.
It's hard to believe me, it never gets easy.
I guess I knew that all along.

If you believe it's in my soul I would say all the things that I know.
Just to see if it would show. That I'm trying to let you know.
That I'm better off on my own."

Sad Sunday.

It felt so strange to wake up this morning knowing that today was going to be a sad Sunday.

Today is namely the day when Christmas is officially over here in Sweden. The 13th of January has been a sad date to me ever since I was a little girl because I knew that on this particular day my parents would cut down our tree and take away all the Christmas decorations around the house. So now it's all gone. The house feels "empty" again. I miss the tree and all the colourful lights.

When I was younger I simply couldn't understand why we couldn't have Christmas all year around but now as I have become older I understand why it's impossible to do so. I wish that Christmas could be a longer holiday but unfortunately it isn't.

Tomorrow it's exactly 11 months and 10 days until next Christmas - as crazy as I am I have already started the countdown, why? Because I love Christmas so much.

Anyway I better finish my homework for tomorrow because later I'm going to watch "Atonement". I'll write more later!

Saturday 12 January 2008

Don't they deserve a real chance?

Picture: Children from Gawad Kalinga, The Philippines

Take a close look at the pictures above, now what do you
see? My first thought was their bright and smiling faces. What if I told you that these beautiful children come from a different world much unlike our own and that they most likely won't have the same possibilities to succeed in life like you and me?

It does not change the fact that they also have dreams which they wish to fulfil. I truly hope that some of them will.

Many people would think of them as poor children, I on the other hand see them differently. One must learn to see what's underneath the worn out clothes and behind those smiling faces, for I know that these children possesses the great of hearts and most caring spirits. They will study and work hard to reach the top and I know that it would be done most efficiently.

All I am trying to say is that these children deserve a chance. They need love and protection by their two parents, a home where they will know that they will always be safe, enough food and water supplies to be able to grow up properly and to be healthy and strong. After all they don't need that much to be entertained, you should see how well they all dance!

These children never seem to inspire me enough and the thought of meeting those smiling faces everyday I know it would certainly make my day! All I know is that one person cannot save the lives of these fantastic young children but if we put our hearts and minds together we can all make a difference.

Think of it, don't they deserve a real chance?

Lovely evening.

The dinner was delicious and the room was filled of smiling faces and of laughter! It really was a success!

In other words I believe we all had a lovely evening, sharing good stories and memories with each other.

We had plans to watch a movie but we were all "too tired" so the "grown-ups" had their talk and the rest of us "teenagers" watched funny clips on youtube and talked about school, boy/girl - friends and life in general.

Like I said I had a great time but I'm actually feeling a bit tired but we'll see when I fall asleep. I also heard a new song called "Beautiful as You" by a man called Jim Brickman, have you heard of him?

Well I haven't, not until tonight and I think that I might have found a new favourite artist! I'll try to find more of his songs later and I'll probably end up listening to them tonight :)

May you all have a great day/evening!

Friends over for dinner.

Picture: A beautiful dining/living room, unfortunately I don't remember where I found it.

I've been looking forward for tonight! We have invited two families, which I believe we have gotten to know pretty well over these last two years, anyway the plan is that we're going to eat dinner and just have a great time together!

I better go and help my mom to prepare the last things before they arrive. I'll write more later! Ciao!

Philosophical thoughts around midnight.

I have never felt so alone like I do now. For some reason it feels as if my heart has lost all of its inspiration, please don't ask me how.

My family doesn't understand me and neither does my friends. We shall see how all of this ends.

All I know is that there is a big piece missing inside of me. Without it I will never be whole, for it is my key to my happiness, can't you see?

I know that this might sound more than a little crazy but I believe that I had found my soul mate. For I have always thought that certain things were meant to happen, things that are controlled by fate.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I know I did it once. Some people say it all lays in the other person's soul and in their special inner light.

For many of us seek to find the perfect soul mate, our life companion, our other "half" so to speak. This is the point when I start to feel weak.

The number of people who spend their entire lives looking for this special someone is big and I believe that living with the disappointment of not finding him/her must be a heavy burden to carry. I just wish we all could fall in love with someone and to be able to marry.

I guess life will never be that simple.

Friday 11 January 2008

New favourite café.

Picture: Café Sirap

I spent most of the day at school doing boring mathematics but after lunch I met up with D and I took him to a new café called Café Sirap in town.

Apparentely they serve both breakfast, brunch, sallads, other "lighter" meals and my favourite - American pancakes :)

So I decided that we simply had to try them and they were delicious! I took the one above with chocolate and bananas, it was so good..!

However since I never have tried "real" American pancakes I can't decide whether if they "live up to the real expectations" but all I can say that these were so much better than normal "flat" Swedish pancakes.

I can promise you that I will take the rest of the crew to this place and let them enjoy these delicious sweets.

Anyway, talking about food it's time for dinner!

There she goes.

There she goes, a fair woman with a big heart almost as deep as an ocean. For it is to be known that it is filled with good intentions towards other people in her surrounding, loyalty and greatest above all love, for caring and taking care of people in general is a great passion.

There she goes, a lady with a young heart. Another interest of hers is to be creative, singing, dancing, drawing they all amuses her and are in her eyes nothing but true art.

There she goes, a female who tends to spread a little bit of springtime on this January morning. You should see her latest drawing.

There she goes, a young woman who whispers your name into the sky in hope that you will wake up the next morning feeling happy.

There she goes, a lady faithful towards her belief in God and in life itself. She keeps all those special books on a particular shelf.

Funny as it might seem, she does not hold a particular tall length, some people would call it a normal length while she tends to joke about her being small as an little elf.

There she goes, an intelligent woman but most important above all a woman full of ambitions where the sky is her limit. She stands well prepared for life itself and its unexpected turns, it would never frighten her now. Or could it?

There she goes, a dear friend you will always be able to count on, no matter the time of the day. She might not have all the answers, no one does, but she would almost do anything to make your day better in some creative way.

Let her spirit inspire you, just like a mother holds her baby close to her heart she would hold a special place for you inside her heart.

For today, tomorrow and forever.

Thursday 10 January 2008

"Atonement".

Picture: Google

Tomorrow is the big day for Keira Knightley's latest movie to have its preimiere here in Sweden. I really want to see it, perhaps I'll do it next week.

It is based on the success novel written by the author Ian McEwan. Did you know that it has been nominated for 7 Golden Globes?

I am not surprised since it is directed by the excellent director Joe Wright (who also directed "Pride & Prejudice" 2005)

Talking about Jane Austen and her famous novels they are sending the film version of "Northanger Abbey" tonight at one of our Swedish channels.

As you can guess I'm going to see it! ;)

Anyway it starts in only a few minutes! So I better go upstairs and do some popcorns! May you all have a great morning/evening!

Terrific Thursday.

What a beautiful morning! The sun is shining through my window and I've got the feeling that it's going to be a terrific thursday!

Anyway I'm on my way out, all I need to do is to tie my shoelaces and I'm ready to start this morning's exercise, by joggning a few laps around the neighborhood.

I hope you will also have a great day!

Wednesday 9 January 2008

An early Birthday present!

Picture: Private - Isn't he cool? My own Teddy Bear! :)

My wonderful and good friend V just got back from his trip to NY and apparently he brought me an early Birthday present - this really cool T-shirt!

Since he's leaving again in only a few days, this time to Spain for some business, he decided to give it to me today so that I could get it before my birthday. Thank you so much darling! You really made my day!

I can't wait until I can wear it with my leather jacket for the spring.

It's crazy, I turn 20 in less than 2 1/2 weeks.. I have to start plan what I'm going to do! You'll hear more about it later.

"Blood will always be thicker than water."

I just wanted to say that I've missed you, that's all. There have been nights where I just stared at my white wall, knowing that you weren't there on the other side of the wall.

I just wanted to say that the house has felt empty during the time that you were gone. We're all so happy about the fact that you're home!

For you have and always will be my best friend, the way we always understand each other, all those times we've had fun together singing and playing when we were younger. I just wanted to say that I feel so proud to have you as my brother.

"Blood will always be thicker than water."

Tuesday 8 January 2008

Welcome to the family.

Picture: Private - Here it is! My brand new leather jacket!

After so many months of looking for the "perfect" leather jacket with a "MC-twist" I finally found it yesterday!

I had found another jacket at the Spanish store Zara but it would cost me a fortune - 1400 sek! so guess if I was thrilled when I found the one above for only 498 sek! (It was on sale - 50 % off)

Unfortunately it's still too cold to wear it outdoors but I'm looking forward to spring/summer where I'll be able to use it! I just have one more thing to say to the leather jacket; Welcome to the family!

Finally, he's home.

I just enjoyed a great dinner and a beautiful movie with my mom and younger brother.

Here's a special message for all the hopeless romantic people out there (such as myself) you just have to see a movie called "Christmas in Boston".

As you can imagine this is the movie that I just saw and I literally
l o v e d it!

I just have to show it to the girls on Saturday since we might have our movie-night then.

Anyway the person I'm referring to in my title is my other brother (I got two of them you see..) and he's the older one. He's finally coming home tonight after his long trip during Christmas and New Year's so guess if I'm really excited to see him? :) We've all missed him so much!

Tomorrow is another big day; my maths course is on again "hurray" (I really do hope you hear my irony on this one..) So I better get all my things ready now and I'll show you a picture of my "surprise" later.

Have a great morning/evening depending on where you are on the globe!

Jem - Maybe I'm Amazed.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
And hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Maybe I'm a girl and maybe I'm a lonely girl
Who's in the middle of something
That she doesn't really understand


Maybe I'm
a girl and maybe you're the only man
Who could ever help me
Baby won't you help me understand

Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Monday 7 January 2008

A daily reminder.

As I was walking home from the train I passed the little park. The place where you pushed me high up in the air as I was sitting on that small swing, I decided to take a stroll through the park but I couldn't stay that long since it was already getting dark.

Memories came flashing through my eyes. Suddenly all I could see was the rest of your hurting lies.

Back then I didn't know the meaning of true love. I thought it was something beautiful, simple and free as a white dove. You tricked my heart and soul into your stupid games. Our so called "relationship" ended up in flames.

I burnt many of the letters I had planned to send to you. All I was trying to do was to run away from you.

Many years later you are gone. The latest news I got just recently was that you apparently have a son? It's time to go home and meet the rest of my family. I know in my heart I'm glad to be over you, finally.

All that there's left is this stupid scar inside my heart. You nailed it as if you had been playing darts.

I wish to find someone that can make this scar go away. A special someone who always finds the right words to say. I'm sure I'll meet him some day.

New hairstyle.

Picture: Private - Me before and after the haircut

This is the result from my visit at the hairsalon earlier today! I'm really happy about the result and the best part is the length! My hairdresser cut about 12 cm on the lengths which really is a lot, my guess is that most women out there would agree with me on this one.

To my big surprise she said that I needed to cut about 2 cm (I thought I needed to cut it more?) anyway so I decided to cut it 10 cm more.. Since I really wanted a change and a new hairstyle! So as you can see above I added a "before" and "after" picture.

After I finished at the salon I met up with one of my best friends E, we went to the movies and saw "The Golden Compass" - the first out of three novels all written by the author Philip Pullman and I loved it!

E on the other hand (who had read the novel) thought it was a good movie but the story in the book was different to the one that was played in the movie. It's normally like that when they decide to make a good novel into a movie.

Unfortunately I didn't find the "baseboll t-shirt" that I was talking about yesterday but I did find something else, which let's just say that I have been looking for, for quite some time! What can this mysterious subject be? We'll I will reveal it here tomorrow by publishing a picture of it.

Now it's time for yet another movie. I'll probably write more later, so long!