Last day of 2007.

I can't believe that today is the last day of 2007.. Another year has flown by and it feels as if I lost the track of time?

Anyway I should probably try and get some sleep, today's going to be a long day. Sweet dreams! /Sofia

I miss you.

Picture: Private - My beautiful Falcon as a puppy
Every time I looked into those chocolate brown eyes of yours I always ended up in a big smile. The joy you brought to my life, let's just say that's a feeling I haven't been able to experiene in a while.

You were my best friend. I knew I could always count on you, especially during those days when I was feeling blue and it felt as if I had reached the end.

I miss you and I wish you could be here. There are times when I think about you and it feels as if I can feel your presence here inside our home, it's almost like you're here the air I breeth in and in the atmosphere.

I am so sorry if I ever let you down. If I did I have to admit I was being such a ridiculous clown.

I hope that God's most beautiful angels are taking good care of you. My dear Falcon, there is not one single day that I don't think of you.

This is all I needed to say, I miss you my beloved friend.

Dinner with family and friends.

It feels so good to have finished cleaning (I did it yesterday) and ironing my clothes (finished with it today) because tonight I wouldn't have had any time since I'm going to spend some time with my family at the house of some friends.

We will probably eat something and talk for a few hours, the parents are hilarious! So I know I will laugh a lot too :) Anyway time to get ready, first up a shower! I hope you all had a good day sofar! I'll write more later when I come home.

Linkin Park - In The End.

This is one of my favourite songs and I will probably never stop listening to it. I usually listen to it while I'm working out, for some reason it gives me so much energy to just keep going with whatever I might be doing at that particular moment.

In the end, it's just a great song.

Oxford Reunion.

Picture: Private - Justina and I in Oxford 07
It seems as if all the girls that I met in Oxford during the summer of 2006 is about to create some sort of reunion for all of us! It would be so much fun to meet them again, we surely laughed and cried a lot that summer! I miss you all so much.

Another dear friend, Justina, who I also met in Oxford but during Easter earlier this year, we have planned to meet up as well some time soon!

It's always hard to meet up with dear friends when they live far away from you. Justina lives in London and I in Stockholm so it isn't really that far but the fact that we live in different countries makes it more difficult to meet up over the weekend.

But I have promised them and myself that I will have time during 2008 to see them and to create new memories together. Because surely you have heard the saying that "Memories never die.." ;)

Fun Fearless Female.

For about one hundred years ago people would not have been able to meet a woman who could call herself for the three "F-words".

It was forbidden for women to step out in society and to do their own careers. The female duties were basically to give birth to many healthy and strong children (preferably boys) and to stay at home to cook and to clean while their husband was at work.

Let's just say, time has changed- in most "modern" parts of the world.

I am more than happy about the fact that I can call myself for a "Fun Fearless Female", that's probably how my closest friends would describe me as well.

Famous females such as Jane Austen, Pippi Longstocking, Rosa Parks, Toni Morrison and the list could go on forever, have inspired me in many different ways throughout my life.

Ever since I was a little girl my parents tought me that I could accomplish anything as long as I had the will and strength to achieve my goals and most important of all - not giving up on yourself.

This is probably the reason for why I ended up being such a stubborn child when I was at a younger age.

Despite the fact that there are a lot of women who work as much as their husbands do today I am sure that there are wives who finds it to be perfectly fine to stay home today as well. The difference is that these women hopefully have had the chance of choosing what they want to do, if they have been forced to stay at home one could simply say that we jumped back in time again which I think is wrong.

People have to adjust themselves to the time we're living in. A new and modern time where no matter the sex or skin colours that you have we should all be treated by the same rights.

I know I was born because my parents love each other and the fact that they wanted to create a little miracle which they welcomed to the world with open arms.

I also know that I was given my opinions and values to be able to make a change, they don't have to be big ones but if everyone does a small change, to improve someone else's life, then in the end they could all turn into miracles which could save so many people's lives.

Once again, I'm proud to call myself a "Fun Fearless Female". A young woman full of ambitions where the sky is her limit.

New season.

Picture: H&M
Within the fashion industry the fall/winter clothing is already forgotten and now everyone is focusing on the new season, spring/summer of 2008.

One of Sweden's most popular brands/stores is H&M (Hennes & Mauritz) which creates most of the latest fashions directly from the catwalk to us ordinary "mortal" people but at a far much lower price.

Anyway I must say that the women's collection for this spring is awful! I don't understand why they decided to do such an ugly collection. I'm very dissapointed.

On the other hand they have created a men's collection with different and unique pieces of clothing which I know will be a big hit here in Sweden (and maybe abroad too!) The pictures above are from their website and are two of my favourite outfits.

Classy but still sporty and the best thing is that you can wear them at different occasions, both at the dressed summer party or at the more casual barbecue with your family and friends.

To sum it up I will probably not spend that much money on H&M this spring/summer but instead turn towards other stores.

Still I might have a talk with my younger brothers because I'm 100 % sure that any guy would look absolutely gorgeous in these outfits. This is one of the styles that I find attractive in guys. However I don't know if your girlfriend would think the same?

It's better to ask her first since it's all very different depending from person to person. That would be my advice if you want to make a good impression.

Life and its unexpected turns.

It's passed midnight and yet I am still awake. Once again I have far too many thoughts circulating inside my head, confused over the decisions I have to make.

I listen carefully to the wind and how the raindrops keep falling towards my glass window. It's been raining for so many days and it is still cold inside my bedroom which is why I decide to hug my soft pillow.

It breaks my heart knowing that my life will probably not end up the way I had hoped it to would. If only I had one chance to make things right again I would take it, I just wish I could.

Many things have changed. I even think I might have aged?

Suddenly my path has taken another direction and I don't know where it will take me. You see, underneath all this "security" lies a girl who is very insecure and she is very scared now, can't you see?

My dreams of going to America might have been postponed even longer. All I know is that I will not give up, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

My time will come. I know it because my mother told me so.

No matter where I'll be I'll always keep the memory of the important people close to my heart. That is what love is all about, no matter the distance and the obstacles one might bump in to, love conquers them all, in my eyes it truly is an amazing art.

Dream appartment.

Picture: Lexington
If I ever had an appartment in London or New York I would probably wish that it had the same appearance as seen on the picture above.

The thing that I like the most about the picture is the little balcony above the main entrance. It reminds me of the scene in "Romeo and Juliet" where Juliet is standing on her beautiful balcony while Romeo is hiding in her garden.

It's just such a romantic scene, I guess that's every girl's dream. So I can picture myself standing on this particular balcony longing for my own Romeo to come home..

I'm such a dreamer. Perhaps I should become a writer? To be able to continue telling these kinds of stories to the coming generations. I don't know. That is just a dream.

Anyway don't you find the white flowers adorable? I would probably have many similar trees in my backyard because I do love gardens.

There is a saying here in Sweden which people often use if someone is good in taking care of flowers etc, you often say that they have "green fingers" it doesn't mean that this person turned into a "Shrek-figure" but instead that they are handy with all different kinds of flowers and other green plants that has to do with gardens.

I wouldn't say that I'm that kind of person, or perhaps I am? I just haven't found that special flower to "take care of" but I will try to find it.

That would certainly be a life which would appreciate my love for it and in return it would bloom and lighten up my room with its breathtaking colours.

Gone swimming.

One of today's plans is to go swimming with my brother. Like I wrote yesterday he and I have come up with this new idea of us exercising together. So I think it will be fun!

Time to get ready we have to leave really soon.. I hope you will all have a wonderful day!

Prince Charming.

Picture: Shane West
Here I am dreaming myself away to sunny California where a certain gorgeous guy live. You've probably seen him around Hollywood because he's one of the bigger stars and his name is Shane West.

I haven't had the fortune of meeting him in person yet but what I do know from looking at pictures of him is that he has almost all the features that I find attractive in men, the one thing that would make him even more gorgeous in my eyes would be if he simply had blue eyes.

But I've noticed from watching different pictures that in some his eyes look green and in others they look brown? So I can't make up my mind on what colour his eyes have but one thing is for sure - they are not blue.

The reason for why I find him attractive is like I said because of his good looks, he's athletic and he seems to be a nice down-to-earth kind of guy. The fact that he's a celebrity just make things complicated. I'm thinking: paparazzi, stalkers and more paparazzi. I don't know if I'd be able to handle all that pressure.

Then again, the chance of meeting him is really small now that we don't live in the same country/state not to mention the same continent.

However how crazy this might sound it feels as if I've already met him in person. Or not the actual Shane West but another guy who I think looks just like him. There were still two other facts that made this other guy more interesting though,

1) he's got blue eyes!! 2) he is hilarious and can always make me laugh/smile. Besides, he turns out to be one of my closest friends, I think it's way cool to have good friends who also turn out to be "good-looking friends" what I'm trying to say is that it's just a plus that he's good looking. But he really is a good friend too.

Anyway it feels as if I'm just writing "bla bla bla" right now so I think I'll end this post here. Time to try and get some sleep and continue my dream about the hansum young Shane West.. Good night!

Time for a walk.

Over the last couple of days I guess most of us have been eating a lot of delicious Christmas food? Am I not correct?

Well we certainly have and therefor my family decided that today we should all go out together to enjoy a long walk! My younger brother and I have put up a schedule to start exercising together which I think will be fun!

One shouldn't forget to exercise just because it's Christmas you know? ;) It's important to eat good food too but all I'm trying to say is that it is important to think of your health too.

Time to eat some light lunch and later I'm going out for that "long walk" I might bring my camera to take some "sad" pictures of our snow-less country..

That's correct, unfortunately we haven't been able to have any snow this year. But my guess is that it's coming.. Hopefully for my birthday!

Oh my, I just realized that I'm turning 20 within one month, since today it is the 26th of December and my birthday is on the 26th of January! Oh I can't wait :) Haha sorry got to go now! I'll write more later! Ciao!

Friends Forever.

Picture: Originally from DeviantArt but I made some adjustments to it.

I pray for you day and night. Every time I close my eyes I can see your smiling face, such beautiful features, let me just say that it's something that I will never forget, for who could forget such a beautiful sight?

The way your eyes always lighten up the room whenever you are present. I wish I had counted the numerous times that I have dreamt about your wonderful scent.

You turned out to become one of the best friends in my life. I would say that you know me very well by now and I am so glad that you have always been there by my side.

Thanks to the Internet we have been able to keep in contact. With you I can say anything crazy, be myself and I have never been forced to act.

I feel blessed to have such a wonderful friend like you in my life and I don't regret any of the things that I have said. The clock is ticking, I should try to go to bed.

But first let me just say, thank you for being you. I will always keep a special place inside my heart for no one else but you.

Thank you for being such a caring friend. This is not the end.

For I know that our friendship will continue to grow, today, tomorrow and forever. All the inspiration that you have given me I will always keep, I will not forget them, never.

Things have become complicated and it's been all because of me. I never meant to hurt you that's all I need you to understand and to see.

The future is still unknown and hopefully my heart will heal. Someday someone might figure out a way to make my knees weak just the way you did and hopefully it will make me dance upon my bare heels.

All I want to focus on now is how to make our friendship even stronger. All the "heavy" feelings I've had inside of me, you don't have to worry about no longer.

Thank you for giving me so many beautiful memories. Together we will hopefully create new memories.

I'm just curious though, how many people find their soulmate at the age of 19..? The time we spent when you were here where one of the best times of my life, you made me happier than I have ever been.

Don't get me wrong, you still make me smile, for me it all feels like a meaningful song. I press repeat on my Ipod and I continue listening to it all night long..

I overslept.

I can't remember when I fell alseep last night but what I know is that I overslept this morning. My alarm went off at 7.30 AM but for some reason I managed to turn it off and went to bed again..

I didn't wake up until 12 AM when my younger brother came in and said that it was time to eat "lunch", which I didn't because all I wanted to eat was some real breakfast.

Anyway as you can see today has been such a "slow" day.. And believe it or not it's already dark over here! I wish the winter was over and that spring could come tomorrow. But now, unfortunately we've got another three months of complete darkness to look forward to, "yay!" *not*

Apperantly it's time to eat some lunch now, the leftovers from yesterday, in other words "Christmas food" but what I'm really looking forward is my mother's dessert which she made yesterday. I'll write more later! I wish you all a relaxed Christmas day!

Emma Rossum - Stay.

"Hush now close out the light.
No need to speak.
Time will slow when we surrender.
Whisper now over the edge.

Head rush, are you still breathing.
Shiver, taking me higher.

Stay
Darkness take over now,
Stay
No thinking twice.
Stay for tonight
The sound of your heart racing faster for me,
Is what will save me.

Whisper soft
Anticipating this eclipse.
Pulling you closer.
Melting now covered in silk.
Letting go into the stillness.

Head rush,
Careful don't drop me.
Shiver, taking me higher.

Stay
Darkness take over now,
Stay
No thinking twice.
Stay for tonight
The sound of your heart racing faster for me,
Is what will save me.

Faster for me,
Feeling you save me.
Memorize every moment (breathe)
Letting this love take you higher
(breathe)
Just breathe,
And stay.

Stay
Darkness take over now,
Stay
No thinking twice.
Stay for tonight
The sound of your heart racing faster for me,
Is what will save me.
Faster for me,
Feeling you save me.

Stay."

Beautiful day.

Today turned out to be even better than I had hoped for! In other words, it was a beautiful day. I ate great food, sang some lovely Christmas songs during the afternoon while visiting our church, talked and laughed a lot with my family and of course we had our special moment when we opened up our presents.

So this year's best Christmas gift was a pair of earphones from "Sennheiser", I know I had written about the pair from "Kos" but these were so much better besides the design is awesome! They are quite small which is good considering I've got small ears.. (silly fact but it's true) but there is nothing wrong with my hearing though!

I don't remember how many times I've heard my doctor say "Sofia's got the ears and eyes like a hawk" isn't that positive? Atleast that's what I've been thinking that it is.

Anyway I did get some other things too, a few novells, a beautiful book to write in (it will probably be filled with my poetry..) etc.

I hope you've had a wonderful day filled with joy and laughter! The Christmas of 2007 is now officially over and to be honest I can't wait until the next one of 2008! 364 more days to go..

Merry Christmas!

Good afternoon dear readers and Merry Christmas!

Finally, the day we all have been waiting for is here and today's schedule is full of fun activities for my family and I so I am really looking forward to everything that will take place during the day. I hope you will all have a lovely day together with your family and other relatives/friends.

Unfortunately we don't have any snow today up here in Stockholm.. :( But it's okey, I think we'll be able to manage without it this year, we'll make an exception this time and hopefully there will be more snow on the 26th of January, my birthday!

I got to go now but I wish you all a great Christmas Eve! Take care of each other and tell your beloved ones how much you love one another. Later!

Probably the best voice I have ever heard.

For those who don't recognize her, shame on you!
Anyway her name is Sissel Kyrkjebo and is nowadays a worldknown young woman known for her beautiful voice and like I wrote in the title of this post this is probably the best voice I have ever heard (and I have heard many great singers from all over the world..)

Unfortunately the clip is only 32 seconds, I really wish it was longer! But I have been listening to it a few times and I just can't get enough of it, I mean I can't get enough of her amazing voice.

It gives me goosebumps on my entire body and I really feel like watching one of my favourite movies, "Titanic" again. Haha I'm such a sucker for romance but I guess that's just who I am and that's just a fact you have to accept whether you like it or not. ;)

I will probably fall asleep to this breathtaking song so I wish you all a good day/night (depending on where you are on the globe) but I am now going to bed.

Good night, sleep tight!

P.S. Can you imagine how wonderful it must be to wake up to this song..? That's just a thought that hit me only a few seconds ago, I really have to try it some day! D.S.

Christmas Poem.

It is the night before Christmas Eve. I am preparing myself for the most beautiful day of the entire year, smiling faces I hope will be the only things I will see.

To be able to celebrate this important and historical day with the people you care for the most. I hope to feel the presence of the Holy Ghost.

To be able to exchange Christmas gifts and to see my youngest brother's eyes lighten up the entire room when he opens up his presents with big and surprising eyes. I always enjoy to watch people's reactions when opening up their gifts, especially my brothers, for me that is the best gift above all and I feel blessed that I have been able to experience it so many times.

During times like these we should all feel a bit more grateful. I know I do, for it is my beloved ones that helps me to remain hopeful.

To pray for health and love. My biggest dream would be to someday be able to release a free white dove.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and hope that you will be able to enjoy a wonderful Christmas Eve filled with song and laughter. For some reason this year has made me to an even better sister and daughter.

From me to you I send you all my love ♥ /Sofia

One of the most beautiful gifts that I have ever received. Thank you E!

Picture: Private - My Christmas gift from one of my best friends
I was confirmed during the summer of 2003 and a common gift one often receives is a necklace with a gold/silver cross.

I got a beautiful antique golden cross which has been passed on through my mother's family for three generations. I love that cross the only problem with it is that it is "too big" and it is not a piece of jewellery you can use everyday but only at special occasions.

Since that summer I have been looking for that "special" cross which is not too big and not too small and that I can have everyday. I literally have been looking at every jewellery store in the entire Stockholm with no success of finding one so only a couple of months ago I gave up and thought that I should let the cross "come" to me.. :)

And so it did! This Christmas! Guess if I was thrilled when I opened the Christmas present that one of my best friends gave me this year, because she knew how much I had been searching for that "perfect" cross so she already knew how happy I was going to be when I saw it.

Thank you so much E for this wonderful gift! I absolutely love the necklace and so did the rest of my family. I use both silver and gold earrings and necklaces so it doesn't matter that it is in silver. Besides it's got the perfect size..! (1 1/2 x 1 x 0,2 cm)

I look forward to wear this necklace and to think of you for being such a special friend because it will always remind me of the four golden words, faith, hope, love & prayer. Thank you! ♥

One day to go.

I lost the track of how many hours I've been standing in the kitchen helping my mother and father to prepare all the delicious food we are going to eat tomorrow! It really takes a lot of time to cook it but it's absolutely worth it! (Especially my mother's wonderful deserts...!)

Anyway my feet hurt because I've been standing for so many hours and my clothes smell food! Haha so I think I better go and take a shower and later I'll be spending some time with my youngest brother and decorate some Christmas-cookies that we baked earlier this morning.

Later I'll tell you more about the lovely Christmas presents I got from my friends. Have a nice day!

In the morning light.

Picture: DeviantArt
My favourite time during the day is at dawn. I love to see the sun rise and to experience the beautiful miracle that yet another day has been born.

To be able to look outside my window and to meet the warm golden morning light. The morning dew is slowly disappearing as that is the only trace I can see from what might have happened in my garden while I was asleep last night.

Each and every plant are finally awake. I let my eyes glimpse over the mirror-like reflection in our beautiful lake.

I must say it truly is a breathtaking sight. Still I have to ask myself the question, "Is this a dream?" because every time I stand here it feels so right.

In only a few seconds all my senses are awake. I think I might surprise my family and bake a delicious cake!

Another day has begun. I simply can't get enough from the positive energy that is sent to us from our lovely sun.

My white roses have finally opened up. They are not small but instead rather big, almost as the size of a cup.

For blue and white are my favourite colours. I could stand here all day watching the flowers grow, yes I could probably stand here for far too many hours.

It seems as if everything in nature comes in pairs, two and two. So would it be weird if I said that I miss you..?

Wonderful gift.

I just got home from babysitting the two little girls I usually babysit and I am so happy! Their parents bought me a Christmas present, which really was a big surprise! (I love surprises..!)

I really didn't expect them to buy me anything. They told me that I could open it when I came home and so I did. Inside the beautiful little silver box was Alicia Key's new album!

The other day when I visited one of the largest records stores here in Stockholm I saw it and thought that CD would be a great Christmas gift to myself.. :) I really wanted to buy it but decided to wait. Today I'm happy that I did.

So here I am now, writing in my blog, eating these delicious banana pieces which has been dipped into yogurt (I know it sounds weird but they really are delicious and healthier!) while listening to Alicia Key's beautiful voice..

I better get ready because in only a few others I'm going to meet up with my two best friends to exchange Christmas presents and to sit down and talk and just hang for a while. I hope you will all have a wonderful day!

Emotional.

Such a beautiful clip, I cry everytime I see it. I know exactly what she's been going through.

The song that she is performing live is called;
"Let Him Fly" by Jessica Simpson.

Long day.

It's been such a long day. Running errands here and there, all because Christmas Eve is almost here! I've got a long day tomorrow too but I'll try to squeeze in a post at some time during the day.

I hope that you haven't been running around town in the very last minute but instead have had time to enjoy this one special time of the year. Spend more time with your family and beloved ones.

I've said it so many times before but this truly is my favourite holiday. For it is during this time of the year when family and friends come together.

I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Be proud of yourself and of your beautiful family. They are your best friends and the ones that will always be there for you. Don't forget that.

Snowflakes.

Picture: Private - Me at the Bus stop

"Baby, it's so cold outside." I turn around and I see a young couple walking towards me, holding on to each others hands. He hugs her and they stand close to one another while waiting for the bus to arrive.

I turn around and press play on my iPod, suddenly all I hear is the soft melody from Jeff Buckley's beautiful song "Hallelujah".

A few minutes later comes a red bus, it is not my bus but the young couple's bus. They get on it and in less than one minute they're gone and I am once again standing there all alone, enjoying the song being played inside my ears.

I look at my watch to figure out when my bus will arrive. "Great" - I have to wait another 6 minutes. I'm not in a hurry but it's starting to get really cold. When I look up at the grey sky something white comes flying down towards my eyes.

At first I thought it was rain coming down but now I see that it is not rain but instead white thin snowflakes. My black coat is no longer black as Col but instead covered with white crystal like flakes that melt once I've tried to sweep them away.

For some reason they remind me of so many good memories I experienced less than one year ago. I had so much fun meeting new faces that I will never forget and all those times we spent together is something I simply never will regret.

The snowflakes keep on falling, they are not many but there a few small ones that hang on to my eyelashes and that don't want to let go.

What's this? Suddenly a tear falls down on my cheek. I wish I was stronger and not this weak.. I know it's been said so many times before, but nothing has changed. I still miss you. That's all.

Finally! The bus is here. I wonder what the next bus stop will be? I guess it's just another exciting chapter of my long journey. For the journey never ends, it continues today, tomorrow and forever..

Just so You know.

"I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know,
how to make such a powerful feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let someone else win now

Thought you should know,
I've tried my best to let go of you ..
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know..."

♥

My favourite song - When You Believe.

If I had to choose only one favourite song then I would choose this one.

Somehow the lyrics have always meant a great deal to me, especially now these last couple of months. I have listened to it a lot lately because every time I do it gives my heart strength to carry on living my life and making the very best of it for me but also for the people around me.

A wise person once said, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away." I love this quote and I try to keep that in mind throughout each day that passes me by.

The word Belief is one of the most important words in my vocabulary. For me Belief is everything that I am, the reason for why I exist, why my life turned out to be the way it is today, the list could go on and on.

I would say that I come across the word and its meaning every day. Yes you read it right, everyday. Why? Well just like Michael Korda once said, "To succeed, we must first believe that we can." There is a point in his saying, don't you agree? I know I do.

It could be in an everyday situation such as applying for a new job? You might tell yourself that you're not good enough to receive it, this is the time when you should think the other way around.

I would try to think if I really want to get this job I have to work hard obviously but also believe that I can get it. There are many other situations where something like this could arise but the important thing that one has to remember is to not stop believing, especially stop believing in yourself.

No one is perfect though, I know I have my moments when I might feel wortheless and I almost stop believing in myself this is when the so called "true friends" show up and support you.

The people that never will stop believing in you, it could be a family member, a best friend, boy/girl - friend etc. When the time comes and you might feel sad or even worse if you are at the edge of stop believing remember this post, it might not solve your problems but it might give you the right "hint" to push you back to the right path again.

To all of my amazing friends who read my blog here's a special note for you read it carefully and do not skip any words.

If you would experience something like this please remember, you can always talk to me, my door is always open for you. Because I live after the motto that when times like these appears "true friends" do these things, after all "That's what true friends are for.."

Christmas Holidays.

Finally. Today was my last day at school which means that I am now officially enjoying this year's Christmas Holidays.

Despite the headache I'm having at the moment it feels good to have finished everything for this year and that I have time to "recover" during these upcoming weeks before we enter the year of 2008.

Anyway since my entire family has been sick I think it might be my turn now.. :( I really hate being sick so I might need to start eating lots of oranges, I need C-vitamin!

What else could be good if you're about to receive a cold.. Any tips?

I don't understand.

Picture: DeviantArt

How could such a beautil day that began so well end up so bad.. I wish there was something I could do to make all these tears go away.. Why does my soul have to feel so sad..

I just don't understand..

Good morning!

What a beautiful day! Sunshine for the first time in weeks. As I looked outside my window earlier this morning one could see the night frost shine like crystals as far as the eye could see. It looked so beautiful.

Anyway I better go and get ready. Tomorrow is the last day in school and after that I'll have three weeks of Christmas vacation. May you all have a great morning/afternoon!

Good night.

Picture: DeviantArt

Good night. Sleep tight!

There will be times..

There will be times when you will feel like you are lost. At the end of this poem you will hopefully see that it is your heart and soul I care about, those are two of the things I would guard with my life, two things that truly mean the most.

There will be times when you will feel like you are all alone. I'll be there for you, listen to the things you need to say or perhaps say the words you need to hear, it could be face to face or if we're far apart it could be said over the phone.

There will be times when you will need someone to cry or laugh with, someone who you can share both sad and happy moments. I'll be there to hold your heart and I won't leave any bad comments.

There will be times when your testimony will be tested, for those times I'll be there to remind you to believe in the beautiful world we live in. This vision of love we were born into, the faith we all carry deep inside, I'll remind you of the strength you have inside your heart and I know that you will find the right path to follow and in the end you will win.

We will make it there, to the place where dreams, love and reality will be together. It will bring your senses away as the golden sun will make it's way.

Beautiful Oxford.

Picture: Private - Me in Oxford, Easter of 2007
I received a phone call from a dear friend who I met in Oxford last Easter, earlier today. So I simply had to look at some old pictures from the two occasions that I visited that beautiful city of England. Those were good times.

I really miss Oxford, the old small town with so much history to tell, all the adorable little shops were one could find valuable literary works, I desperately searched for an older version of Jane Austen's "Pride & Prejudice" but with no success. Perhaps I'll get the chance some other time.

As you can see the person on the picture above is me, smiling and I truly was jolly happy that day because the door behind me is the "golden door" to the famous studies in Oxford. I'm sorry I'm not making myself very clear, it is the door to one of the main buildings of the University of Oxford.

The old building was breathtaking with its splendid architecture. For those who haven't been there you should try to go there if you have the opportunity some day!

What would I do without my best friend?

Tomorrow is a big day for one of my best friends, a dear family member and a special young man who happens to be my younger brother.

I want to dedicate this post to you and for your two beloved angels who also happens to be two of your closest friends and which you are travelling with tomorrow.

Time has gone so fast and you're all grown up, where did time go? Promise me one thing, please take care of yourself now that you will be so many miles away. I don't know what I would to if anything happened to you, I wouldn't forget myself for letting you fly so far away.

Anyway I know you'll be fine after all you are a young man now. This is all I needed to say, I love you E and I'll always will.

Honestly. I don't know what I'd do without you, my best friend..
/Your sister S

The Pussycat dolls - Stick with you.

"I don't wanna go another day..
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind.
See the way we ride in our private lives,
Ain't nobody getting in between.
I want you to know that you're the only one for me..
And that's why I say..

Nobody gonna love me better,
I must stick with you forever.
Nobody gonna take me higher..
I must stick with you.
You know how to appreciate me.
I must stick with you, my baby.
Nobody ever made me feel this way.. I must stick with you."

All you need is love.

I remember the first time we met, it felt as if time stood still. Suddenly I couldn't talk properly, I was nervous and I couldn't find the right words to say. I have laughed so much about it and I guess I always will.

Somehow something deep inside my heart knew that there was something special about you. Guys like you are so hard to find but somehow I have had the opportunity to meet just a few.

I think about all the good times that we spent together. It's been good days no matter the weather.

You have given me so much inspiration for how to live a good life. I hope someday that I will make someone as happy as you have made me and that I will become a sweet and caring wife.

A new year is approaching. It is time to set up new goals and I might even help my friends with a few tips when it comes to coaching.

Once again I would like to thank you for all the happiness you have given me. I really wish to tell you how proud you should be with yourself for helping a young woman like me and making her see.

The three most important words one shall always remember are; faith, hope and love. In the end I have come to realize that for me they belong together, all you truly need is love.

Good evening.

Picture: DeviantArt
What do you think about the picture above? Isn't it cute? :)

Anyway I came home for a few hours ago and the big surprise that I mentioned was that we were all going to have a lovely Christmas dinner, just the family at a beautiful restaurant in town.
Great food and terrific company made my evening a bit hit!

Since it is Christmas and all I was reminded that family is so important. I love my family, I truly do, there isn't anything that I wouldn't do for them, honestly speaking.

So when I was trying to find a cute picture to post here which somehow signifies "family" I thought that this one was perfect!

Anyway it's been a long day and I should try to go bed early so I think I might go and get ready for bed. Stockholm says goodnight!

One week to Christmas.

So far I have only wrapped in one of my Christmas presents. My goal is to finish most of them today! For the first time it feels so good to have finished all of my Christmas shopping one week before Christmas. I guess that this upcoming week will turn into a complete chaos in most of our stores here in Stockholm.

Anyway, it seems as if my parents have arranged some kind of surprise for tonight! I don't know what it is yet but I'll tell you more about it later tonight. Time for lunch!

May you all have a great day/evening!

Shayne Ward - Breathless.

For some reason I've been listening a lot to Shayne Ward lately but I must say that his new songs are awesome! This must be his "official" comeback and I couldn't be happier about it!

This song "Breathless" is one of his latest singles and like any of his other songs I have no difficulty in relating to the beautiful lyrics.

My favourite part is when he sings, "You leave me breathless... You're everything good in my life... (I still can't believe that you're mine...) You just walked out of one of my dreams... So beautiful you're leaving me... Breathless..."

Why did you have to go?

From the beginning I never really knew you. You were just another friend. But when I got to know you, I let my heart unbend.

Those sad past memories had been erased. You brought sunshine and happiness into my life and suddenly my heart had been replaced.

Tears come streaming down my face. After all it feels as if I have lost my lucky ace.

Seeing you was the highlight of my day. Something I haven't been able to experience since you went away in May.

I try to keep my calendar busy so that I can try stop thinking of you. I just don't think it's working since I see things and meet people everyday that somehow always reminds me of you.

For some reason my heart can't let go. Perhaps it's because I miss you so.

Oh please tell me.. Why did you have to go..?

Struggling Butterflies.

Picture: DeviantArt
Another day is fading towards its end. A few thoughts on a Friday night I might send. The golden sunlight has now faded away. The only light my eyes can capture comes from the beautiful and bright full-moon that shines like silver on the water of our small bay.

Everything seems so quiet and peaceful. My heart feels so happy and thankful. Suddenly my mind is somewhere miles away. I guess that you might already know what I am about to say?

The blood inside of me starts to pump even faster inside of my veins. I'm glad I gave my heart free reins.

The struggling butterflies are back again. Every time they appear I think of you and I ask myself whether if I shall see you again? If so is the case I would like to know when.

For I guess one could say that you have been here with me ever since you went away in May. I remeber that last day and how you took my breath away. I didn't want you to go and I tried my hardest not to show you any of my tears. I haven't felt anything like this for so many years.

I'm just glad to have you in my life, as my true friend and please believe me when I say you mean so much more to me today than you did in May. Good night sweethearts, time to go. This is all I had to say.

Math test.

I wish I could lay down and fall asleep, but no. I'm up studying for the big math test today.

It doesn't start until after lunch but I figured that I should get up early and go through the things one last time before entering the classroom.

Anyway it's a long test, seriously, who came up with this stupid idea of having a math test for 4 hours? (That's the maximum time)

But I guess most people will leave after perhaps 2-3 hours, we'll see. So wish me luck and I'll write more later tonight!

Nacka Musikklasser Lucia 2007.

When I turned 14 I attended a school where I sang 1-3 hours every day. In Sweden we call it "Musikklass" and I think that the translation would be "Music class".

The clip above is from this year's big "Lucia consert" where children from the ages 14 to 18 gather and sing together. As you can see they are all wearing the traditional clothing and the Lucia is standing on the right side with the crown of candles in her hair.

During Christmas the school arranges 4 big concerts in different places around Stockholm, this is one of them. Now that I finished high school I can't participate anymore but I like to go and listen to them.

This is seen as typical Swedish Christmas music and I must say that it is something special about it. Since we only hear it once every year when the time finally comes it is always exciting to hear the new songs that they have put together and of course to see the new "Lucia".

I was crowned to be a "Lucia" 4 years in a row.. It was such a honour for me and I really liked it and miss it a bit. I have so many good memories from all the different concerts and I still keep contact with some of my old classmates. Time to go! Have a great evening/day!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Happy Saint Lucy's Day!

Picture: Google
This is a big celebration here in Sweden and in Scandinavia. For those who are not familiar with it here is a text where you can read about it.

"In Sweden, Denmark, Norway and Finland, Lucy (called Lucia) is venerated on December 13 in a ceremony where an elected girl, portraying Lucia, walks, with a crown of candles, ahead of a procession of other women holding a candle each.

The candles symbolize the fire that refused to take St. Lucy's life when she was sentenced to be burned. The women sing a Lucia song while entering the room, to the melody of the traditional Neapolitan song Santa Lucia, still well-known through the recording by Enrico Caruso but, whereas the Italian lyrics describe the beautiful view from the area Santa Lucia in Naples, the various Scandinavian lyrics are fashioned for the occasion, describing the light with which Lucia overcomes the darkness.

Each Scandinavian country has their own lyrics in their native tongues. After finishing this song, the procession usually continue by singing Christmas carols or more songs about Lucia.

When the Scandinavian countries were Catholic, the night of Lucia was celebrated just as many other saints' days were. However, the tradition would continue to live on even after the reformation in the 1520s and 1530s.

According to the Julian calendar the night of Lucia was the longest night of the year. This is likely to be the reason why the tradition has lived on in the Nordic countries in particular, as the nights in November and December are very dark and long before the snow has fallen, and the idea of light overcoming darkness is thus appealing."

Quote.

"I miss you when something really good happens, because you're the only one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you're the only one who understands me so well.

I miss you when I laugh and cry, because I know that you're the only one who makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear.

I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other for those were some of the best memorable times of my life."
- Author Unknown.

Christmas list of 2007.

Picture: Christmas collage created by Sofia (Click for a larger view!)

Here it is! My Christmas list of 2007 which I decided to put together by using these lovely pictures in a collage instead of a boring list.

Like I wrote a few days ago I have everything I need and even more. But there are always a few things that one can hope to receive, in my case the items above are a few good examples of that!

First we have in the left corner a pair of earphones from "Koss" - since my iPod earphones aren't working anymore I'm borrowing my younger brother's instead but I can't use them forever, so why not wish for a new pair this year? (A big plus is that I actually need this! Since I listen to music almost 24/7.. No kidding, it's true!)

Anyway the next item beneath it is a lovely candle (For those who don't know me, I love candles! Especially white ones..) which smells wonderful "French Vanilla" as they call it ;) I have two similar ones in my room and they are running out so I "need" one for 2008.

Next to the earphones is a gorgeous fountain pen from "Cross"! As some of you might have understood I love to write, many of the poems and other lyrics that I have published here I have already written down in a special book you see.

I always use fountain pens when I write in this special book but I'm running out of ink! So I guess I need ink and a new pen would be a bonus!

In the middle we have this beautiful bracelet with a little golden heart hanging on a thread, from "Dogeared". It really is a small piece of jewellery but that is reason for why I like it so much! It's so simple and one can use it every day to everything.

It would truly be seen as a special gift if someone gave it to me, it could be one of my best friends, brothers/parents or perhaps a secret admirer? ;) Haha *dream on!*

Anyway now to the last picture to the right. This classic white couch from "American Classics" which is my favourite store in Stockholm! (Every time I go in to town I always end my visit by going to one of their stores before going home..)

The problem is though, I don't know where I would place it? I don't have anymore room inside my bedroom? Hmm if someone would decide to give it to me I would probably solve it anyway! :)

That was it! Now all I have to do is wait and see what Santa or the people around me will bring me for Christmas.

If you were to receive only one gift this year, what would that be?

Pancakes and headache anyone?

Sorry for that silly and booring headline, I'm just way too tired right now and I simply couldn't come up with any better suggestion.

After a long day of studying "math" (Did you see that L? My English vocabulary is improving! Hehe..) ;) I went to eat lunch with my dad and after that I had to hurry home because I had an appointment at the dentist

- I was going to "fix" one of my teeth (The toothfairy must be very upset with me, I've been lazy when it comes to brushing my teeth properly every night) so I got anaesthetic and luckily I didn't feel a thing.

But when they were finished suddenly the left side of my face went numb. The cheeck, half of my lip and nose plus my left eyelid felt so weird? And I didn't get rid of this feeling until one hour ago. I don't want to experience that again.

When I finally got home everyone seemed so busy and so stressed so I figured out it was my turn to cook tonight. My brother happily suggested that I should make my delicious pancakes, so pancakes it was.

After this long day I ended up with a headache after that I had eaten pancakes with my brothers and now I think I need to take a shower since my clothes smells like pancakes. Next stop: a waarm shower! Later!

Life itself is unpredictable.

Picture: DeviantArt

The thought just hit me the other day. I believe it was last Saturday.

There are people who walk around living their ordinary lives without knowing that they will never be able to have their own child. It scares me and I think that my mind must have gone wild.

Questions such as, "what if I am one of them?" and "what if I will never be able to give birth to a healthy and beautiful baby?" Would my future husband support me or would he leave me for another lady?

Life never turn out the way you plan it to be. Can't you see? For example some couples are just not meant to be.

I will probably end up here all night, thinking and wondering of how my life will turn out. The thought of creating my own family lies close to my heart without any doubt.

I'm just praying that everything will turn out alright. This is all for tonight. Good night.

Ladies and Gentlemen. Read this.

This post is dedicated for all the guys out there. I found this excellent "guide" if you can call it that for you to learn more about how women think and why we say certain things which can mean something completely different in our "language". I think most women can recognize the things listed below. This is how it goes.

When a woman is quiet ... millions of things are running through her mind. When a woman is not arguing ... she is thinking deeply.

When a woman looks at you with eyes full of questions ... she is wondering how long you will be around. When a woman answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds ... she is not at all fine.

When a woman stares at you ... she is wondering why you are lying. When a woman lies on your chest ... she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a woman wants to see you everyday ... she wants to be pampered. When a woman says "I love you" ... she truly means it.

When a woman says "I miss you" ... no one in this world can miss you more than that. Now to all the ladies out there, here is some very good advice.

Life only comes around once, make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep,

Ladies, wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

That special guy who would turn towards his friends and say, "That's her!" with a big smile on his face She's "The One".

American Christmas is simply the best.

Picture: DeviantArt
Now that I live in a country which is "dark" almost 6 months every year I don't understand why the Swedish citizens won't follow the American tradition with more lights outdoors as seen on the picture above.

It is so beautiful with all the lights on the streets, houses and bushes and it gives so much more light to the environment. It looks so nice!

Anyway I could probably write a long post about things I love with the American Christmas. But let's just make it short. American Christmas is simply the best.

I better go and try and find some of those Christmas lights to put up in our garden just to show the neighbours how to bring more light into our dark and sad everyday life. (I'm referring to these dark days - the 6 months we have here every year)

May you all have a wonderful day/night!

Feeling so much better.

I haven't felt this good in ages. It has taken me a lot of time and energy to write down all the thoughts I've had the last couple of months, you should see all the pages.

I haven't felt this good since you were here. Back then I was happy because you were near.

Something clicked inside of me today. Something I haven't felt since you went away in May.

For the very first time I felt truly happiness because I felt so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I felt so warm inside so I'm no longer cold as ice.

Still the fact of me missing you hasn't changed. Somehow it feels as if I have aged?

All I can say is that my heart and soul feels so much better now. It must have healed in some magic way today and to be honest I don't know how.

I'm just glad it did and the fact that I've become so much stronger inside. I guess I must have found my heart's guide.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling so much better right now. As I was walking home from the train something inside of me just said "wow".

I'm sorry if I have been impatient or if I have insisted on far too many things that has happened between you and me. I just miss you that's all so I guess you finally see.

There's a new day tomorrow so I better try and get some sleep. Here we go I am going to start counting let's see one, two, three ... sheep.

WOW.

Picture: My own personal chart - World of Wisdom.

Do you believe in astrology? Are you interested in learning more about your personality and why you are the way you are? There are many similar questions you can ask yourself and I think that this website might have some of the answers to your questions.

A good friend of mine showed me this cool website called "WOW" and I don't refer to the famous online game "World of Warcraft" but instead to an astrology website called "World of Wisdom".

Here you can find out more about your own personality which has been divided into categories such as; Life Path, Identity, Emotions, Mentality, Values etc. You have to use their programme which you can easily download on their website.

The more information you fill in about yourself the more information you get back. The only things you have to fill in are your birthdate (year/month/day) but also the time and place you were born.

After doing that you will get a similar chart as the one above, this is my personal chart within the area "Values" and here is a bit of the text that I found out about myself and which I strongly agree with, this is me folks!

It might be interesting for the people who say they "know" me ;) Let's see if you agree with this or for those who don't know me here's a short introduction of who I am when it comes to my "Values" in life.

"You have an extremely caring nature, and you find fulfilment either when working creatively, or when you can really look after the needs of others.

Human interest means far more to you than material incentive, and you would simply not be able to thrive in an unloving working environment. You are always willing to put others first.

Your heart goes out to those who suffer, and this may inspire you to work in a caring profession. There are almost no limits to what you will do for others.

At the same time you have considerable aesthetic awareness, which you can use extremely imaginatively - for example in advertising, film, cultural matters etc.

The world of glamour may also appeal to you, as you have an instinctive awareness of the importance of dreams and fantasy."

Isn't it cool? I strongly suggest that you look up the website if you are interested in this subject. I know what I'll be reading for the next couple of weeks, there is a lot to read that's for sure so I'm just going to "dig in", good night! Sleep tight.

Special Monday.

I don't know what happened today but something special happened inside of me. While I was enjoying a lovely meal (lunch in this case) with some close friends of mine suddenly it hit me.

I just realized how happy I am, this might sound strange to some of you but be honest with yourselves. I mean most of you have surely experienced it somehow at some special occasion?

Perhaps it was the lovely company, or the excellent food? I don't know. I just felt this happy and satisfied feeling inside of me.

At that point I was happy being "me" meaning, I have a good health, a supporting and loving family, the best friends I could wish for, food and water to manage throughout the day, a bed to sleep in and many other unnecessary things to be honest.

I am talking about those material things which I could be much better without. So why do I have them? It might be a hobby or just to make my life even more "comfortable", as if it isn't enough comfortable now, if you compare with the thousands of young children and the way they live their lives out there in the world.

People suffering from starvation. People suffering because of war. People suffering because there is not enough food or water supplies etc. It's horrible and just the thought of this gives me goosebumps.

But like I wrote at the beginning, the reason for why I felt so happy is because I was surrounded by people I love and care about and sometimes that is all you really need..? At least that's what I think.

I would rather choose a trip somewhere with some close friends than buying an expensive camera for example? Why? The answer is simple, both "things" will give me an opportunity to create new memories.

The experiences I will share with my friends and the moments I would like to catch with my camera. The only difference for me would be that the new memories that I would create together with my friends would have a bigger space inside of me.

The pictures I could take would feel "empty" and that is why I would rather experience new things together with my friends which I will also remember for the rest of my life (perhaps even further in time..?) and those "special moments" I would catch during our trip will always be restored inside my heart.

To sum it all up, it really was a special Monday. I hope you had a good day too!

Mazzy Star - Into Dust.

On a Monday morning. This song saved me. I can't help it but I always think about "The OC" when I hear this song. I've loved it all along.
Have a great day!

The Notebook.

Picture: DeviantArt

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah" - The Notebook.

People often say that it's normal not to forget your first love. I know I won't. It was such a magic moment for me, the moment when I released the snow-white dove inside of me and I let it be free.

Suddenly one day you came along and decided to catch it. You had found the golden key to my heart and you knew it had to fit.

It feels like if it was yesterday I saw you walking up through the corridor heading towards our classroom. You seemed interesting and somehow you made me bloom.

Time has gone so fast and now you're not here anymore but instead far too many miles away. I'm trying to find the right words to say.

Now that I am old enough to understand the meaning of not forgetting your first love I finally see after all these years that you are the only person that still means so much to me. I don't understand what made me so blind and why I could not see?

The truth is that Noah was Allie's first love, perhaps her only love of her life and I'm sure that she ended up being an amazing young wife.

What I am trying to say is that you are my first love and perhaps the great love of my life..

Long day.

I just ate dinner with my family after a long day of working so I guess I could say that I'm really tired.

Anyway tomorrow starts another new week and Christmas is just around the corner. Still I'm so sad that we don't have any snow yet. It ruins some of the Christmas spirit but I'm not giving up yet!

No sir, all I'm doing right now is praying that the weather gods may give us some snow perhaps the day before Christmas or why not on the "bid day"? That would be nice. We'll see how it goes.

Do you have any snow where you are..?

A picture can say more than 1000 words.

Picture: DeviantArt

Within you I loose myself..
Without you I find myself..
Wanting to be lost again.
.

In the morning light.

I'm staring out into the morning light. I embrace my soft pillow and I hold it tight.

A new day has begun. Still there are no signs of our beloved sun.

I take out my iPod and press play, a random chosen song starts playing inside my ears. Fort Minor keeps on singing "Where'd you go? I miss you so. Seems like it's been forever, that you've been gone." I can't hold back, I have to let out my tears.

I honestly mean it, you are always on my mind. Still I have so many questions deep inside that I have to find.

Perhaps it's because of the season I miss you so much more? Now is the time when family and beloved ones come together, the fact that you are so far away, is that the reason for why my heart feels so sore?

My cheeks are all wet it is at times like these I wish I had a pet. Preferably a dog since they say that it is "man's best friend".

Anyway I can't stand here all day. I better stop daydreaming and so something about this Saturday.

The Swedish Idol of 2007 - Marie Picasso!

Picture: Pether Engström, Aftonbladet

Wow, I think this year's Swedish Idol was the best ever! Talking about true talents, both girls were amazing!

Still my favourite Marie Picasso deserved to win, I love her voice, the new "Mariah Carey/Whitney Houston" singer who showed the rest of us that all she did was to believe in herself and she got this far!

I am completely speechless. She is definitely one of my newest Idols. That's for sure.

Congratulations Marie! You did it!! This is how it all began, listen to her first audition here!

Thoughts on a Friday night.

I thought it couldn't get any darker. No signs of snowflakes, nothing but rain and all I keep doing is crossing each day in my calender that passes me by with my blue marker.

I need something or someone to lighten up my life. For right now my heart feels as cold as ice.

Why do you always have to be so far away at times like these when I really need you..?

I thought I could handle the situation but I guess I was wrong. The number of lyrics I have written to you, someday I will record a song.

Why can't I stop thinking of you..?

I thought that you had forgotten all about me when you got home. Somehow I was left all alone.

I remember the day when I saw your email and how happy you made me feel. You had found the way back to my life and I remember that it felt so real.

Why can't I be where you are..?

I thought we had covered all subjects but I just realized that it's impossible. You can always make me laugh and you make me feel so good inside, to me you are incredible.

Why do I feel so beautiful every time I am with you..?

The answer is simple, you bring out what's best in me. And I wish I could do the same thing with you.
Baby I wish you could see how much you truly mean to me...

Trailer.

Finally! I guess I'm not the only one who is waiting patiently for the premiere of "Sex And The City - The Movie"!

The release date is May of 2008 but they have finally released the trailer to the movie! Here it is, enjoy! :)

An early morning on the train.

I overslept this morning which is why I was feeling a bit tired when I finally got on the train that was heading towards town. I hate being late because I always turn "red" and end up feeling like a ridiculous clown.

Anyway, luckily I remembered to bring my iPod so that I could close the doors to reality for at least 25 minutes. At first I wanted to solve some sodukos in the newspaper but my eyes were too tired to even bother to sort out those complicated figures.

So I closed my eyes and listened to the soft melodies that was played inside my ears. Suddenly I felt this warm feeling inside, something or someone had caught my soul's attention while I was sitting inside the train, someone special was sitting near.

I opened up my eyes and with frightened eyes I glimpsed at the people sitting around me. An older woman was sitting in front of me reading the newspaper that I had placed nearby the window, she seemed to be a very intelligent woman you see..

But when I looked at the end of the trains cabin I saw the back of a tall young man. He was wearing the exact same jacket that you used to were, suddenly it hit me how crazy I am.

I caught myself daydreaming. I forgot about the song I was listening to, perhaps I should go and check up on my hearing.

For some strange reason I couldn't just let it go. The thought "what if" crossed my mind several times during those minutes, still my logic still kept on reminding me that it was impossible, it just kept saying no.

Suddenly the train stopped and all the people started to leave the train, somehow I lost him in the big crowd. I stopped the music in my ears and that is when I heard reality again, the sound of it was just too loud.

There was no sight of this mysterious man so I gave up and left the train as well. It all went very fast but somehow I felt a lovely smell.

A wonderful perfume from someone close to me. And who do you think I see?

He passed me by, it felt as if it had been in a blink of an eye.

This time I had seen his face. I did not see any signs of a golden grace.

Still I could not help it but for a few minutes I thought that this man was you. I guess that this is yet another proof of how much I truly miss you..

I'm very surprised myself that this could happen on an early morning on the train.

Colourful Gingerbread.

Picture: Private - Colourful Gingerbread. (Click to enlarge!)
This is the result from yesterday evening when we were baking in our kitchen. Don't they look delicious? They're not just ordinary gingerbread but colourful gingerbread!

I made all of these and the ones you see with a name on it are the ones I'm giving away to friends etc. But I think I might do more tonight (because it was so much fun!) as you might have understood I'm quite creative, it's in my blood.

Anyway today I went to town to eat lunch with my two best friends and we talked and ate this really good chicken tandoori I think it is spelled.

A new restaurant in the middle of the city so afterwards E and I went Christmas shopping, I only have one more gift to buy while she had many left so I decided to help her and give her some advice which I think she appreciated :)

How about you? Have you finished your Christmas shopping?