Wednesday 27 February 2008

Cascada - Everytime We Touch (Slow version)

Today's most played song.

Memories from last summer are played inside my mind. Thoughts of you which I tried to leave far behind.

Tuesday 26 February 2008

Turning 20 and my personal thoughts about alcohol.

"Time flies when you're having fun." Does it sound familiar to you? Well I know I've heard it many times before.

I simply couldn't help it but when I saw today's date I realized that I actually turned 20 only one month ago (?!) Time really does fly. It's funny how people ask you the same day on your birthday if you feel "older/more mature" etc.

Normally when I've received those kinds of questions I've simply answered them, "I don't know. I haven't experienced any difference yet but I'm sure I will within a month or so." Like I said, it's been a month now. I wouldn't say that, that much has changed.

The biggest difference now being 20 is that I can buy alcohol at a shop that we can "Systembolaget". Let's just say that you can find all the different types of alcohol to drink there. Still, it's nothing that interests me since I don't drink. I've seen what alcohol does to people, both young and elder.

I saw a programme on TV yesterday where they talked about our world's most dangerous drugs. They said that if alcohol had been a "new" discovery today people would not have been able to buy it as easy as it is today. I believe it was on the list of the world's top 8 most dangerous drugs. Yes, it can be seen as a drug since many become addicted to it.

It really is awful, don't you think? I will get back to this subject later. There's so much more to write since it's such an important topic.

Monday 25 February 2008

New York.

Picture: Central Park, New York, DeviantArt

After a long day of bothing studying, working and day-dreaming (!) about my favourite city New York I can tell you that I'm exhausted.

Earliear today when I came in to town this morning I saw one of my new favourite magazines called "Sofi's Fashion" which is published every Monday (!) I think it's great because you get so many updates regularly instead of only once a month like all the other magazines, Cosmopolitan, Elle, Vogue etc.

Anyway today it said that Sofi (A Swedish fashion reporter) had just come home from a marvelous week (the fashion week) in NY! So obviously the magazine was full of tips of restaurants, hotells and other places worth seeing. Guess if I bought it? ;) Haha I guess you should know the answer by now.

Anyway so this is how I got "stuck" on it the e n t i r e day. Besides, when I also read that the American dollar only costs 6,25 sek/dollar I thought I was going to explode! :) Haha well not literally but I'm sure you understand what I mean.

So there I was, standing on the subway by the end of the day, thinking what I am doing here? I should be in NY instead! Like I said, I was day-dreaming.

Anyway now that I actually have a job, my plan is to work work and work and hopefully, just maybe, I might be able to go next fall/Christmas. We'll see how it goes. Time for bed!
Good night!

Sunday 24 February 2008

When the tears are not enough.

I sit here, all alone again, on a rainy Sunday night. I wish I could be somewhere else or that I'd be on the next flight.

It is during nights like these when the tears are not enough.

I check my phone for any missed texts or perhaps one missed call. Once again I end up being dissapointed so I put it away and continue staring at my white wall.

My heart cried out for you but I guess that my tears were not enough.

I was naive to think that "love concurs all". I believe this happened mostly during last fall.

For I cried during many endless nights and the tears that I fell for you never seemed to be enough.

Still, life goes on. It can be seen as a game but I wonder who won?

I must be strong, yes my heart needs to be tough. What else is there to do when the tears never seem to be enough?

Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Sunday afternoon. I lie half awake in my bed when I hear my youngest brother's light footsteps outside my bedroom door. He opens it and when he sees that I'm awake he walks in to my room. He seems to be in a good mood when he smiles at me and says "Good morning Fia".

I mumble a quiet "Good morning" while I'm still unaware of the fact wether if it is a good morning or not. He looks at the Venetian blind and I can see how he hesitates, should he pull the blind cord or not? For some reason he decides not to make a move. Atleast not yet.

I ask him with a hoarse voice, "What's the time?" as I try to fall asleep again, trying to ignore the fact that he's still in the room longing for my attention. With a deep sigh he answers, "Far too much, Fia you need to get up now."

It strikes me that it's Sunday, meaning that I have to study. Suddenly that last dream I had seems to be miles away, I can't go back to it. I struggle myself out of bed and decide to go upstairs and eat some breakfast.

If I were to decide I would probably love to spend the day in front of the TV with NO books near me! It's been a while since I saw "Breakfast at Tiffany's". I wonder if we have it? Time to find out!

Meanwhile I'll let you enjoy the beautiful picture above of the beautiful Audrey Hepburn. May you all have a great day!

Friday 22 February 2008

Workaholic.

I wonder when I became such a workaholic? Seriously. I've been working at this new store called "Jackpot" in Stockholm and it feels as if it's been taking so much of my time. Well I guess that's how it is when you're new.

Anyway it's been so much fun though! I love it. The clothes are gorgeous and the people I work with are great and they have all been so kind to me.

The plan is that I'm going to stay with them and work there during the summer as well and perhaps during the fall too (?) depending on which University I will get in to (In Östersund, Sweden or San Francisco, USA) we'll see how it all ends.

I feel so bad for my body though, words can not describe the pain I'm feeling in the entire body..! I believe it has to do with the fact that I've been out dancing two times this last week and I've been runing up and down in the stairs that we have in the store so yes I'm really tired.

Guess if I'm happy that it's Friday!! Finally. I just had a delicious meal with the family and now I'm going to sit back and enjoy a movie on my laptop. I wish you all a great day and have a nice weekend!

Thursday 21 February 2008

Beach of 2008.

Picture: Kurkova
First of all, doesn't she (Karolina Kurkova) look gorgeous on the picture above? I was speechless when I saw it the first time, I mean, who wouldn't want to have a body and a tan like that? ;)

So I guess that this post will be some sort of "pep-talk" to myself for the coming summer of 2008. I've been really lazy these last two months and I think that I seriously need to get starting with the training now! Therefor today is the last day of sweets and all of that because tomorrow starts the real thing, I'm going to write my own "work-out" schedule tonight so that I'll be prepared tomorrow ;)

Besides it might be a good idea to start looking for a hot bikini - you know to encourage myself even more! Well I've said enough for now, I'll probably write more later. Have a great morning/afternoon!

Wednesday 20 February 2008

Ready to go!

Not that I have much time, I have to leave the house in less than 10 minutes but I just wanted to say "bye" :) before I go.

Anyway I hope that you all have had a great day and I'll write more later tomorrow! So I guess I'm ready to go! Ciao!

P.S. Talking about an unnecessary post! Don't you think? :P D.S.

Red Rose.

Picture: Private (Taken by me)

I am so happy!
I found this cute little bag from Rules by Mary (as seen above) in a small store called L.E.V.A at Hornsgatan 60 in Stockholm earlier today.

It's from their fall collection of 2007 and this particular bag has been sold out everywhere! Anyway thanks to the tip that I got from Filippa I finally found it today!

Besides, I believe that my wallet was quite happy too since it was on sale (50%!) Wait there's more! :)

Tonight I'm going out (again) with my girls and guess who will do me the honour of hangin upon my left shoulder? Well, my new beloved Red Rose of course! ;) Anyway I need to run a few other errands before I start planning the outfit for tonight.

I wish you all a great day!

Monday 18 February 2008

I will miss you when you're gone.

Why do you have to go away? Please explain to me the reason for why you can't stay?

I understand that you need some kind of mini-semester. But from what I've heard the weather man said that this weekend it would only be bad weather?

For I had hoped for some one-to-one time with you. I guess that this is my way for saying; I will miss you.

Promise me that you will take care of yourself, honestly, I don't want to see any broken bones. I know how hard it would be for you if your friends would keep laughing about your fall, I just don't want them to come up with silly jokes.

All I know is that you will be on my mind. I will be right here waiting, I won't leave my spot, let's just say that I will be easy to find.

Please go away now and hurry back! I would love to help you unpack.

Think of me when you're standing on that high mountain. The memory of you will float inside my heart's deepest fountain.

All I know is that I will miss you when you're gone.

Is it You - Cassie.

Today's most played song in my iPod. I simply love the song and the beautiful lyrics. Please listen to it, enjoy!



Cassie Is It You Lyrics


Sunday 17 February 2008

Sleeping Beauty.

I believe that today's evening has reached its end. I am really tired and I need to get up early tomorrow so I guess that it's bedtime.

I wish you all a good night's sleep! Now I better get changed meanwhile I will listen to some of the songs written and sung by "Imogen Heap".

Memories.

I'm standing here alone next to my window, staring outside at our lonely garden when I decide to pick up and embrace my pillow. I wish that I could let it all just dissapear. For one day I will get rid of this stupid fear.

If only people could stop staying that I look fine when I really don't. If only walls could talk they would tell you the truth about our history but somehow I have got the feeling that you will never believe me, no I know that none of you won't.

I simply can not help the fact that it all just reminds me of what happened many months ago, still it feels as it was just yesterday. For then my heart was in full bloom. My soul glowed like the night's bright full moon. Those days are over now. I have closed and ended that chapter, just don't ask me how.

The symbol of my faith is all I have left. There are not enough words, nor symbols to describe the feelings I had deep inside, if only you had seen how I really felt.

For it is like they say, certain memories will never fade away. There really isn't anything left that you can say.

I prefer to have loved someone deeply and lost it than to never have loved at all. I know that I will be reminded of it every year, yes especially every fall. All there is left in the end are some good and some sad memories. I'm sure that you've all heard many similar stories.

Do you want to see & hear Rihanna live?

Well now is your opportunity if you live in Stockholm, Sweden because she's holding a big concert here on the 12th of March!

I really want to go, so I think that one of my colleagues and I will go to it. Yay! :)

Besides that, Chris Brown has also planned to have a concert here but I can't remember what date his concert is. I would love to go to both but we'll see if I can afford it, the tickets are so expensive nowadays!

The last big concert I went to was Shakira's latest concert in Sweden and before that Christina Aguilera - both of them were great! Still it is quite dangerous to go to big concerts like these.

I remember when I went to my first big concert, I went to see Spice Girls (I don't remember what year it was but yes I was just a little girl..) with my friends and two mothers. I remember what my dad told me before I left the house, "Sofia you mustn't leave the group, because if you do and you get lost in there you will probably never come home again." Guess if I was scared to death to get behind and get lost?

The worst part of it was that I actually did manage to get lost and when I realized that my friends weren't standing next to me I was chocked and looked around and didn't see any familiar faces. Guess if I was scared?!

Anyway luckily enough two teenagers found me and helped me to find a security guard which helped me to locate the rest of my group. I believe I learned a pretty good lesson.

Still, I was very young and today I might blaim the two mothers who were supposed to keep an eye on all of us the entire time, which they failed.

Still I had a great time afterwards since this was just at the beginning of the concert. Spice Girls were awesome!

En blick som väckte alla sinnen.

Bild: DeviantArt

Likt vårsolens varma sken dansade min andedräkt ut ur min mun och värmde den kyliga fredagsnatten. Vackra små iögonfallande vattenkristaller, glittrade likt silverörhängen i luften och seglade framför mina havsblå ögon, klara som det renaste vatten.

Jag fångade dem och lade dem tillsammans på en silkesbädd i ett isklot, lika genomträngande som dina ögon.

I mina tankar försökte jag kasta det på dig för jag ville veta om du skulle förstå hur det kändes när du såg på mig sådär. När du såg rakt igenom mig. En stilla sekund och jag fryste den blicken du gav mig, den fanns med mig när jag åkte hem, ja den fanns där även följande morgon.

Du fick min puls att öka takten i samband med musikens sorl i bakgrunden. Jag såg mig omkring på dansgolvet och möttes av en stor skara ungdomar som dansade och många leenden prydde deras belåtna ansikten, de log likt små barn gör då juldagsmorgon glimmar. Det var som om du knöt upp mitt hjärtas svåra knutar, plötsligt stod jag där framför dig och jag var obunden.

Ditt varma leende värmde min kropps alla sinnen. Ett glädjerus spred sig från topp till tå, för en stilla sekund hade du raderat alla tråkiga minnen.

Som en båt i säker hamn, fick jag vila i din famn.

You lift me up.

After a long night of nothing but good sleep I am looking forward to yet another (sunny!!) Sunday.

My plans for the day are to study during the early afternoon and to relax and perhaps watch one or two episodes of "Gossip Girl" later tonight. Sounds pretty good to me!

Still I can't stop thinking of all the fun adventures from Friday night. All the great dancing, good music and new friends that I made during the evening.

The plan is to do something similar to it next week, either Wednesday or Friday. But this time I will bring my girls to the party as well, so I'm sure that we will have a great time!

Anyway, I guess it's time for some hot chocolate and later I'll write a poem. Have a great day!

Girltalk + hot chocolate.

Picture: DeviantArt

To begin with I must say that Friday evening turned out to be a great night full of dancing and laughing, I had such a great time which explains why I didn't come home until 4.30 AM.. Let's just say that my parents wheren't that happy about that!

Anyway when I woke up today my entire body was in great pain, especially my poor feet who somehow managed to survive through that long night in high heels.

I figured that I needed to rest today so what could be better than to spend the afternoon (since I slept until 2 PM..) with my best friends and to share some girltalk about this week's latest events.

Besides that I've been longing for some hot chocolate during the entire day! Perhaps I'll do it tomorrow then, wouldn't it be nice to have someone that could do a hot cup of it for you and do it in a similar artistic way as seen in the picture above?

I sure would love to learn how to do it. Sorry time for bed, I'm still exhausted, I promise to write more tomorrow. Have a great morning/evening!

Thursday 14 February 2008

A perfect evening.

I've put on my LDB dress and added the necessary accessoaries such as my classic pearlearrings and the long golden chain. All I'm hoping for now is a night without rain!

My long, black and flirty eyelashes and the mysterious smile which now can be seen upon my face are ready to go out and make this night an unforgettable evening. You will probably find me in the middle of the dancefloor around twelve PM dancing and laughing.

People will look at me and smile knowing that I'm probably having the best time of my life. I'm so glad that we don't have a really cold winter this year, no slipperiness on the roads and no ice.

As you might understand this poem is not about today's evening but about tomorrow. Do you follow?

Anyway I was just picturing me the entire evening, while getting ready and when I'll be out on the dancefloor. It feels as if I have been waiting for a long time for this opportunity to come that I simply can not wait anymore.

Haha I know how crazy this sounds if only words could describe how happy I always feels while I'm out dancing. Still there is one thing that make me happier and that is when I am aloud to sing. Good evening!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Picture: DeviantArt

Today is a very special day. A day that is celebrated over the whole world. A day when our hearts are in full bloom. A day to remind all of us how important it is to love and to appreciate each other.

I have chosen to publish one of my favourite love quotes which also can be read on the picture above.

"Love is patient, is kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self-seeking ... is not easily angered, keeps not records of wrongs, does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth ... always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres ... never fails." - The Bible; 1st Corinthians 13:4-8

Wednesday 13 February 2008

Wonderful Wednesday.

I believe I woke up on the "right side" this morning or perhaps it was the beautiful weather outside my window that made me feel so happy?

Anyway the sun was shining and finally after a long (normally I would have written "winter" but since it hasn't been any real winter I don't know what to call it..) time of nothing but darkness the sun came out and one could feel it in the air - the spring is on its way!

It just hit me that I never wrote anything about how I feel about the new serie "Gossip Girl" after that I have seen a couple of episodes.

Well, to be honest
, I'm completely s o l d! Still, the "OC" was better but I am more than happy about this new serie which takes place in one of my favourite cities of the world - New York! I've never actually been there or it depends, does dreams count? In that case I've been there more than a dozen times!

So will I continue watching the show? The answer is yes! The characters, the drama, the c l o t h e s!! Last but not least who wouldn't like to see the hansum "Dan Humphrey" - the romantic guy in the drama and the only guy who seems to have his feet on the ground.

Now, a question to you my dear reader, do you have any favourite TV show? In that case, what is the name of it and why do you like it? ;)

Good night.


Picture: DeviantArt

Good night, sleep tight! /S

Tuesday 12 February 2008

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for making things complicated between us. I never wished for us to argue, I didn't want any fuss.

Still, here I am now, ready to let go. For once I'm not being naive but instead realistic, things just didn't turn out the way I hoped it would, I don't know what else to do.

I'm sorry for not being able to be patient enough to wait for it to happen. We're in the middle of February now, if I could I would probably love a vacation in Aspen.

I'm done living my life through hopeless romantic fairytales in novels, I'm ready to get out there again. You will always be a very special person to me, your place inside my heart will never be replaced, after all you are and always will be a beloved friend.

All I think I might need now is some time and space. After all it will probably take me some time to stop thinking of your beautiful and charming face.

Since I'm the one who rushed away creating all these uncontrolable feelings inside my heart I believe that I should be the one to blaim. I just hoped that in time you would have felt the same.

Either way like I just said, I'm moving on now. Still, I honestly don't know how, I'm sure that I will be able to figure it out somehow.

But it has to take place. For someday I know that I will find someone that will make me feel warm and safe.

All I need you to know is that I'm truly sorry.

Monday 11 February 2008

You're my better half - Keith Urban.

I've been playing this song today and to be honest, what Keith sings about in this song is something I wish I will have some day in the future.

Who wouldn't want to spend the rest of their lives with you're soulmate, best friend yes with you're better half?

"
Car door slams, it's been a long day at work
I'm out on the freeway and I'm wondering if it's all worth
The price that I pay, sometimes it doesn't seem fair


I pull into the drive and you're standing there
And you look at me
And give me that come-here-baby smile
It's all gonna be alright
You take my hand
You pull me close and you hold me tight


It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe we can make it through anything
'Cause when it all comes down
And I'm feeling like I'll never last
I just lean on you 'cause baby
You're my better half

...

Well, you take my hand
Yeah you pull me close and I understand

It's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe that we can make it through anything

Oh baby, it's the sweet love that you give to me
That makes me believe we can make it through anything
'Cause when it all comes down
And I'm feeling like I'll never last
I just lean on you 'cause baby
You're my better half"

Sunday 10 February 2008

Gossip Girls the "new" OC?

It feels as if I am the only girl on this planet who hasn't seen the new episodes from the brand new serie "Gossip Girls"? Many of my female and male (!) friends have been watching the episodes for a couple of weeks now and it feels as if I have so much to catch up with.

Besides, I read on a blog I don't remember where but it said that "Gossip Girls" is the new "OC"? Is it true? I find that hard to believe, I loved the OC but haven't seen the new serie yet, but I will tonight!

So I think I should watch it and I will give you my opinion later. Have a great day/evening!

Social event on the 15th of February.

Picture: Grand Hôtel Stockholm (Click on the picture for a larger view!)

I
forgot to tell you about a special invitation I received earlier this week from a good friend of mine. On the 15th of February (next Friday!) there will be a social event held at "The Cadier Bar" (as seen on the picture above) at the Grand Hôtel in Stockholm.

P and his friends from Stockholm University have organized it and from what I have heard from P, it seems as if it's going to be a spectacular evening! At first I had other plans, since I am supposed to babysit next Thursday I said I could do it on Friday as well but as you can imagine I changed my mind.

Besides, another good friend of mine and to my family has planned to have something at her place, also next Friday! What a dilemma, I'm so sorry D that I will be missing out the dinner at your place, I hope you can forgive me and that we can do it again at some other time!

Anyway I promise that I will take pictures from the evening! From judging the picture above and from reading the following description that can be found at Grand Hôtel's website;

"The Cadier Bar
is an international cocktail bar. In the relaxed environment, experienced bartenders serve drinks from every corner of the world. A selection of bar food is also available. The Cadier Bar, named after the hotel's founder Régis Cadier, is a popular meeting-place, for the guests of the hotel as well as for discerning Stockholmers." - it sounds wonderful! I am sure that we will all have a great time.

As I wrote above I will give you more details about how the evening turned out next week. No matter how this upcoming week will turn out atleast I will have something to look forward to next Friday!

Another week ends.

Today it's Sunday - again. Another weekend has reached its end. I still think it's crazy how fast the weeks pass us by. Just recently I realized that time passes us by faster and faster the older we get.

For example, I remember when I studied at middle school, I used to count how many years I had left until I would finally graduate and there were simply too many years left.

Still, here I am now. For I have finally graduated and somehow it feels as if it was just yesterday I finished middle school. It feels as if I have reached a turning point in my life.

People today have asked me different kinds of questions than the ones I received for five years ago. The question is no longer, "what is your dream?" What would you like to work with?

But instead "what are you aiming for in life?" Where and what would you like to study? The list of similar "difficult" questions seems to have no end. Then again, I have my whole life to figure it out, right?

I think that I might save them for later and simply enjoy the fact that today it's Sunday - again. For I will spend it with the people I love the most and celebrate that tomorrow waits a new day, when a new week begins.

Friday 8 February 2008

Art on Angelina Jolie's body.

Pictures: Google
In my opinion she is one of the most beautiful and talented female actresses in the world. As you can see on the pictures above I'm referring to Angelina Jolie.

Besides her great work which is seen on the big screens of Hollywood where glamour exists in every person that walks on the red carpet she is also a busy mother to four beautiful children, Maddox, Pax, Zahara which all have been adopted from different countries around the world and one biological daughter Shiloh.

Jolie has been promoting humanitarian causes throughout the world, and has also been noted for her work with refugees through UNHCR.

Although what I really wanted to focus on in this post is the amazing art one can see on Angelina's body. (The pictures may be small but if you click on them they might get bigger!) I've had the thought many times, maybe, just maybe I might get a tattoo. It would not be anything like the ones that Britney Spears and other celebrities have.

No, I would probably like to have something similar to the ones that Angelina have on her body. For example, in the neck she has written "know your rights" which is an important sentence and that should be equally applied on every human on this planet. Or the hindi tattoo on the back of her shoulder, it looks beautiful and I'm sure that the text is also something meaningful.

One of her latest tattoos as seen very badly (sorry for that!) on the right picture above is several small tattoos that says the geographical map coordinates accurately detailing the countries of birth of each member of her and Brad Pitt's family.

I think it's beautiful and in a way it can be seen as a form of art. What do you think about tattoos? Have you ever thought of getting one?

Thursday 7 February 2008

I'll be there soon.

Time has gone so fast, I find it hard to believe that it's almost been nine months since the last time I saw your deep and lively blue eyes. During all this time all I've kept thinking of is you and your charming smiles.

The way you always make me smile, if I could you know I would take the next flight and fly all those thousands miles. Finally, after a long winter I feel more motivated than I have felt for a long time. I do long to see you, please believe me when I say that this is nothing but the truth and no lie.

For I have forgot the number of dreams that I have dreamt about you and the magic pulse you've got inside your fingertips. Together we have danced easily through these daily illusions of mine, you should have seen the way I moved my hips.

Finally, it feels as if something actually is happening. After almost nine long months of nothing but waiting.

Tonight is a spectacular evening, I wish you could see the silver light from the bright full moon. For this I promise you, I'll be there soon.

Prada feat. "The Thunder, Perfect Mind" by Nag Hammadi

"For I am the first and the last. I am the wife and the virgin. I am the mother and the daughter. I am she whose wedding is great, and I have not taken a husband. I am the bride and the bridegroom. I am senseless and I am wise.

Come forward to childhood, and do not despise it because it is small and it is little. And do not turn away greatnesses in some parts from the smallnesses, for the smallnesses are known from the greatnesses. I am the one who is honored, and who is praised. For I am knowledge and ignorance.

I am shame and boldness. I am shameless; I am ashamed. I am control and the uncontrollable. I am strength and I am fear. I am war and peace. I am the substance and the one who has no substance. But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel.

Do not hate my obedience and do not love my self-control. I am the union and the dissolution. But I am she who exists in all fears and strength in trembling. I am she who is weak, and I am well in a pleasant place. And I am an alien and a citizen.

I am the silence that is incomprehensible and the idea whose remembrance is frequent. I am the voice whose sound is manifold. For I am the first and the last." - Nag Hammadi

Terrible Thursday.

I woke up with an awful headache this morning, I'm not feeling well so I'm staying indoors today.

I just have the feeling that it's going to be a "Terrible Thursday" since everything is grey and cold outside and on top of that I've got the headache, "yay" - not. Still, I just realized it's Friday tomorrow! Not that I've got anything planned but I'm looking forward to have a nice weekend.

Anyway perhaps a shower could sheer me up a bit. Have a good day!

Wednesday 6 February 2008

If only I could make my heart stop.

Picture: DeviantArt

Forgive me
for taking you for granted. In the end it was our friendship that I truly wanted.

People often say that "one learns from our own mistakes" and that is what I have done. My heart has been giving away so much love, please tell me what is the point with it if it is not appreciated? It might be easy to handle at the beginning but it is difficult in the long run.

Relationships of all kind should have a certain rule where you "give and take". And never act like you care if you know that you will never feel that way for another person, I am sure that is one of the worst things one could do to another person, to be fake.

I have never understood one thing, is it possible to care for a person as much as I do? At the same time I can not help feeling like the world's most ridiculous fool.

If only I could let it out and let it fall like the rain outside. If only I could stop dreaming that you were here by my side.

Please forgive my heart and soul, but I simply don't think I will be able to get over you by walking away. I honestly wish there was something that you could say..

If only I could do something about all these feelings,
if only I could make my heart stop.

Worn-out + panda eyes = attractive?

I'm sure most of you wonder why I have chosen such a strange title for tonight's post, don't worry here comes the explanation.

As I sat down to eat dinner with the rest of the family my youngest brother looks at me and gives me the biggest smile I had seen during the entire day and says, "Fia, you look great tonight! That's how you should look like everyday."

I stared back at him with a surprised face, I didn't know what to say. After a few seconds I answered, "I honestly don't know why you just said that because right now I'm not feeling attractive since I'm tired and feel all worn-out."

Apparently he thought the opposite (!) and when I looked into the mirror I saw that my mascara had smeared out around my eyes so it looked as if I had black panda eyes. A smile appeared on my lips and I came to think of the quote "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and I realized that it is true.

For some reason my brother thought I looked great tonight while I thought the opposite. Still, it made my evening. Thank you, I love you B.

American Girl - Tom Petty.

This is one of many reasons for why I love America. Take a look at the video above, it is from the Superbowl last Saturday (02/03/2008) what a show!! Look at the lighteffects in the beginning, I thought the heart was very cool, how they made it blink while you could hear it "beat".

If only I could have been there I would probably have screamed and shouted like all the people you can hear in the background.

Besides, it's a great song he's playing (Tom Petty), I wish I was an "American Girl" ;) Have a great day!

Tuesday 5 February 2008

Long time, no seen.

Sometimes dreams are better than reality. When I talk to people that inspire me it always fills my heart with vitality.

It is hard to imagine how it must be like to see a special someone after a long time. I would probably end up with struggling butterflies inside my heart but in the end I am sure that everything would turn out just fine.

What if both persons have changed and does not recognize each other? I would probably be ashamed over myself and say a stupid thing such as, "I'm sorry I really need to call my mother".

Hopefully none of these things will happen the next time we will meet again. For I know that whenever I am with you I can always be myself.

I know that we will always be friends, I am 100 % certain. No matter the time or the place. I will always remember your beautiful face.

Monday 4 February 2008

Proabably the best feeling in the world.

Picture: DeviantArt

I may be an independent woman still, there are times when I long to be in your safe embrace. To be able to look up and to see your charming and smiling face.

People around me might see me as a self-confident woman still, there are times when I am scared to death and wish that you could take my hand and lead the way.

If only you knew the number of times I have stoped in the middle of the street and turned around to see if you were there, honestly I have been doing this since you left in May.

I may laugh and smile everyday, still I never laugh the same way I did when you were here. Time has gone so fast, soon it will be a year since you were near.

I may be a hopeless romantic woman still, I can not help that my heart is completely sold. I keep on dreaming about being in your arms for that is probably the best feeling in the world.

Sunday 3 February 2008

A long journey.

For the very first time it felt as if the magic in the air was gone. It felt as if we had enterred an unknown zone.

Suddenly everything inside of me froze. For one second it felt as if my heart had been pricked by a thorn of a red rose.

I didn't know what to say. A few minutes later you disappeared and went away.

I sat there in complete silence lost in the deepest confusion. What did just happen? I simply couldn't come up with any solution.

I never thought that I would let you in inside my heart and never let my true feelings show. I tried to be strong, still it feels as if I lost some of my self-control.

For many months I have tried to get rid of the pain. Tonight I will let it all out, I will let it fall from my eyes, heavy tears such as the pure silver rain.

I wish I knew what to believe. All I want for my soul is to find inner peace.

I wish both of us could experience the golden and magic dust in the air between four eyes. One day we will and when that day comes I will embrace you from both sides.

For it has been a long journey and it does not end here.

Juicy Couture Jacket.

Pictures: Aftonbladet, Style by Kling

I have never seen such a beautiful jacket as the one above from Juicy Couture, it is perfect for both spring and summer.

Obviously I am not the only one who has fallen for it, Swedish celebrity and fashionista Elin Kling has one and the American actress Katherine Heigl has one too.

Apparently both Kling and I have the same "Pocahontas" shoes! I read that she bought them in Paris while I bought mine here in Stockholm, I think I might initiate them tomorrow since all the snow is gone.

Btw, I'm just curious, what do you think about the coat? :)

Snowing Sunday.

Surprisingly after a few weeks of nothing but rain guess what finally came down yesterday evening? Snow! I must say I was very happy when I woke up this morning and looked outside my window and saw the thin snowflakes falling down from the grey sky.

Anyway I have no fun plans for the day, nope, nothing else but spending a numerous of hours together with my books, in other words I'll be studying the entire day.

The next two weeks will be chaotic considering I have so many important tasks on my schedule, both academical and social activities. I better get going, I'll try to write something later. Have a great day!

Mood: Enchanted (due to the beautiful weather!)
Music: Carry You Home - James Blunt
Clothes: Black oversized woollen sweater, white t-shirt that reads "Stop and Think" (from the Fashion against AIDS campaign), black stretch tights and grey shepherd slippers.

Saturday 2 February 2008

Can't Help Falling in Love - Jon Schmidt.

I have said it before, Jon Schmidt is the greatest. I have put down some words and I must say that I was inspired by the title of the song and the melody played in the video above. Enjoy!

Even though you might have heard this story before, please listen to it for this is how it goes. A young woman finds a true friend in a young man with a pure and delicate heart who has come from a country different to her own. To find myself telling you this story which turns out to be true, makes my heart tremble, yes I can feel it all the way down to my toes.

Anyway as you can imagine, they became very good friends. Unfortunately no one knows how this true love story ends.

Days, weeks, months went by as the feelings of the young woman increased for every second, minute, hour they spent together. She always had a great time whenever he was around, indoors or outdoors and no matter the weather.

Slowly her heart started to beat in a different rhythm and she couldn't help that he always made her blush. Her intentions were never to rush.

His deep blue eyes were clear like the fresh water in spring and his amiable face. She often found herself dreaming night and day of his warm and safe embrace.

Sad times came when he had to return to his home. For quite some time she had hoped that she would hear his voice over the phone.

Two young souls had met and a never ending friendship had now been born. To be forced by distance to be apart almost broke her heart, piece by piece, it truly felt as if it had been torn.

She simply couldn't help that she almost fell in love. Still her soul was filled with hope.

What would happen the next time she saw his charming face? Would she faint and hopefully be catched by him and lean down in his protective embrace?

So many questions with answers out there waiting to be found. The sound of his laughter is a constant echo inside her heart, it gives her comfort during those days when everything is grey, it was and always will be a special and beloved sound.

Friday 1 February 2008

You took my smile away.

I sit alone in complete darkness. All I can hear is how the wind whirl outside my window. For some reason the distance between us still feels endless. During times like these when I wish you were here I always embrace my comforting pillow. For it has been a reliable companion throughout these twenty years.

I met with some of our common friends earlier today and they were surprised that we have remained contact for so long. I wish I could make them understand how much I have been thinking about you. Maybe, just maybe these words might become lyrics one day and end up in a beautiful song? In that case I believe you would recognize major parts of it since it would probably be my heart singing about no one else but you.

All I ever wanted was to hear you say my name. Now in my chain of life you are the missing link. All I ever wanted to was to capture our seconds that we spent together because then I knew we would forever stay the same.

Some people say, certain memories will never fade away. Those times when I could hear your voice it used to lift my chin. I do not know what else to say.

Now that you are miles away I realize that you took my smile away.
Why couldn't you have stayed?

Pocahontas and environmental activist.

Picture: Private - This week's purchases!

Good evening! After a long day in town I finally came home around 7 PM. My feet are hurting so much! I'm in desperate need of a footmassage - I think I might give it to my poor feet later.

Anyway after my maths class I spent the afternoon walking across the entire city while handing out my resume to all different kinds of stores located in town. It went pretty good and I believe I have pretty good prospects for the summer! (meaning: a job!)

As I wrote yesterday I'm looking for a job where I can work fulltime during the entire summer period (June-August) preferably with something I'm interested in and if the salary is high no one will be happier than me! :) I'll get back to you on that.

While I was visiting all the stores I also had time to visit H&M and to check out the "Fashion Against AIDS" campaign. The t-shirts looked so much better in reality! I was not surprised to hear that Rihanna's t-shirt "Believe" had sold out and so had Timbaland's, since the artists are so popular here right now.

Lucky as I am I found a cute guy who was working in the store and with big "puppy-eyes" I looked at him and asked him if there was any possibility for me to find one of Rihanna's t-shirts somewhere in their store? It turned out that he had "hidden" two of them behind the store's cashbox, one for his younger sister and an extra just in case.

Guess what he did? ;) He gave the "other one" to me! Haha I was so happy. I also found the t-shirt made by Katharine Hamentt with the t-shirt that reads "Stop and Think", so simple, yet the message is very clear.

An hour later I visited one of Stockholm's biggest shoe stores where I happened to find a pair of shoes which looked exactly as the one's that Pocahontas wore in the Walt Disney production. I fell in love with them and to be honest I've been looking for a similar pair but they would have cost me a fortune, it turned out that I was lucky again since I got them for a much lower price. (See the picture above of the t-shirts and the shoes!)

In order to summarize my day I would say that it feels like I became Pocahontas and a very proud environmental activist in one day and to be honest I feel great! :) On top of that it's Friday! So I think I might have a warm shower and later watch a movie or something with my beloved mother.

I hope you will have a great Friday night, perhaps your out dancing with your crazy friends or taking it easy by enjoying a nice and quiet evening in front of the TV. Later!