Sweet dreams.

Picture: Gant

The thought just crossed my mind the other day while I was making my bed, "I really need new sheets". I've been looking at some different pictures and this one as seen above is my favourite so far. Classy and simple.

I might have a look in town to see if I can find something similar to these :) Anyway time for an afternoon-nap (!) I'm so tired *yawn*, sweet dreams.

Wonderful Wednesday.

Mood: Excited!
Done: Breakfast (check)
Plans: Study, study, study and then come home and get ready for tonight!!
Looking at: My laptop's screen
Listening to: Nothing yet
Reading: Nothing yet
Drinking: Water
Eating: I just had breakfast :P
Best: I've been looking forward to tonight!
Worst: No nothing like that today, I'm trying to remain my positive energy!
Weather: Cold and dark outside

2nd year running.

I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my sweet little blog! :) I can't believe that it's already been 2 years since I once started writing here at goldenpearl. I want to thank all of you who have followed me through the blog and of course welcome those of who might be new readers as well!

I'm hoping that 2009 is going to be a good year. Stay tuned because more posts will come, that's for sure! Have a great day/evening depending on what time it is at your place right now.

Sleepless.

Each night when I turn out the lights I lay awake and I ask myself whether if this is right or wrong. The age difference that's just one thing, the way you get nervous every time that your phone rings and you always seem to have to "walk away", still I haven't known you for that long.

All I've been trying to do is to get to know the real you. To be honest I was disappointed when you were the last person to call me and say Happy Birthday instead of the first, somehow it felt like I was the last girl in your queue.

Still, every time you come around me I get weak. A man who knows how to show concern and that prefers honesty before lies, that is all I seek.

I remember that evening I spent at your place when I looked at my reflection in your bathroom mirror and the way that I cried. The strangest part is that I still haven't been able to figure out why? All I wanted to do was to crawl in to one of your shower's corners and let cold water run down my face and hide the tears that I had cried.

I never did though, instead I added some make-up and pretended that I was fine. Perhaps that was the moment when I might have realized that I would never be forever thine?

For once in my life I thought I had made a change and that this time I would make it right. Still, I don't believe that nothing has changed since I'm still sleepless throughout each day and almost every night..

21st Birthday!

Picture: Click to enlarge! Collage made by me (I'm actually quite proud of it!) Haha talking about a masterpiece..;)

Happy Birthday! I want to dedicate this post to all the people who's celebrated me today and who sent their love through a textmessage, wrote a note on my wall at facebook or gave me a call, thank you all so much! Thank you ALL for making my day! ♥

Big Day.

Tomorrow is the Big Day. My Birthday! Sweet 21. It's still Sunday evening and I'm looking at my schedule for next week's events and it's full! (I'm not kidding)

I feel so sad to have to turn down some people that I wanted to see but I just have to prioritize. Anyway time for a quick shower followed up by bedtime (feels good to have an early night for once!). Sweet dreams!

A trip to the Swedish Museum of Natural History.

Picture: Naturhistoriska Riksmuséet, Stockholm

Good morning to you all! I hope you slept well. I know I did and so is the reason for why I'm in such a good mood! Yay :)

Anyway my dad and I are going to pay a little visit at the Swedish Museum of Natural History today. It's been ages since I've been there! We always used to go there once a year with the school so I haven't been there for atleast 4 years now I think? Time flies!

I better get ready since we're leaving quite soon, I wish you all a great Sunday!

Last night.

In this late hour of the day I let my heart rest upon the beautiful flashbacks from yesterday. There was something special about the way you looked at me throughout the evening. Was it the way you gave me compliments or the way you reached out to hold my hand and to give it a gentle kiss? I simply can not say.

All I know is that last night was about you and me. Our chemistry felt stronger and so it felt as if nothing could come in between. It felt so natural to have those deep conversations with you and that is just how I think it should be.

The more time I spend with you the more I learn how to appreciate to live today and not only to think and plan for tomorrow. I feel inspired every time I hear you talk about your life experiences and obstacles that one may come across throughout life. Suddenly my heart felt light, no signs of distress but most important above all I did not feel any sorrow.

All I can say is that I had a great time and hope that you feel the same way about it too. I will not think about what tomorrow might bring but instead think about today and the great evening that we shared last night. Obviously I'm going to think about you too.

Could I please have a Canon?

Picture: Canon

Why, why, why don't I have a good camera?! I mean I did get one a couple of years ago but it's not as good as it used to be. I'm in love with L's and V's camera (they've got the same but in different colours!) - Canon Digital IXUS 80 IS. An excellent birthday present don't you think? ;)

Anyway the reason for why I'm writing about this is because I wish I could have had a good camera last night. I've realized that after all these great nights all one is left with is the memory and no "physical" pictures besides those you've saved inside one's mind.

Nowadays most cellphones have a camera and I must say that the camera on my iPhone is really good (!) it's just that I've been forced to send it away due to the fact that I can't send textmessages :( So annoying since it's brand new...!

Therefore I'm stuck with another phone, a SonyEricsson for atleast 10-14 days which completely sucks. I guess all I have to do is wait.

New Songs.

I've been listening to some new songs which I added to my iPod recently. Here are some of them which I listen to almost everyday. Let's just say that it is a random mix of both house, rock, r'n'b etc many different kinds of songs that I like ;) Listen to them! Perhaps you'll find a new song that you haven't heard before! Enjoy!

• Beyoné - Halo
  
• Cassie feat. Lil' Wayne - Official Girl
  
• Christina Milian - Us Against the World
  
• Coldplay - Viva la Vida
  
• Eric Prydz - Pjanoo
  
• Lady Gaga - Poker Face
  
• Laurent Wolf - No Stress
  
• Linkin Park - Leave Out All the Rest
  
• Ne-Yo - Miss Independent
  
• The Killers - Human

Dinner at Nox.

Picture: Collage made by me, pictures from Nox
I had a great dinner with S last night at a bar/restaurant named Nox located in the middle of Stockholm.

One can say that this place is always crowded since it's considered to be one of the "hippest" restaurants in town. No wonder since they have the coolest furnishing and really good food! I found some pictures from their website and made a collage out of them (see picture above).

I can't wait until summer when one will be able to sit outdoors (see the top right picture)! But there is another restaurant which I've longed to visit called Le Rouge located in "Gamla Stan" (translation: Old town, the oldest parts of Stockholm). It seems to me to be one of the most romantic restaurants in the entire city!

Perhaps someone will take me there one day or I'll just end up going there with the girls, even though it wouldn't be the "same thing" if you get what I mean ;)

It just hasn't been my month this year.

January hasn't been my month this year. I'm thinking about the number of times that I've been sick and it just don't seem to stop :(

Only a couple of days ago my throat started to feel sore and today I woke up with a heavy headache and a cough that I just can't seem to get rid off.

It's awful, I'm even starting to think that my body might be in some unbalanced state or something because I've never experienced some like this before. Sorry but I just hate being sick..

He will make a Change.

Picture: Barack Obama - DeviantArt

Today it became official - the 44th president of The United States of America, Barack Obama also known to be the nation's first Afro-American president finally took the oath of office in the National Mall in Washington DC.

His speech consisted of encouraging words and I am positive that we shall all see many great changes in the near future because of the hope that this man will bring.

Nightmare.

I don't know why but I slept really bad last night. I woke up at 2 AM and then at 6 AM both times because of the stupid nightmare I was dreaming about.

So guess if I'll be walking around feeling like a zombie today? *yawn* But I'm sure I'll be ok, I'll just take a short nap or something when I come home after all I end early today.

Anyway I better get ready, hope you all got a better start of this Tuesday than I did..

Mortifying Monday.

Picture: DeviantArt - Notice how Heath Ledger kisses her forehead and how he holds his hand around her head. Love and a beautiful moment has been captured.

I don't know who I'm trying to fool? I'm sick and tired of all these games where men act the wrong way and pretend to be cool.

For months, I'm talking about almost two years, I've spent trying to find out what it is that I truly want. Let's face it, I failed my task and I believe it to be my own fault.

I've spent far too many endless nights thinking about some of the deepest impressions people have left when they've passed my shoulder. I don't know why, but I keep dreaming about certain scenarios where in one of them I hear you say to one of your friends, "If only I'd been able to hold her".

Perhaps it's got something to do with one my heart's deepest wishes? If I would have been a fish in an another life I know that in your presence I would have been the happiest of all fishes.

Time to stop daydreaming and get back to reality. If I had you somewhere near I know I could smile for an eternity.

This still doesn't make anything easier for me. I still don't know what's wrong with me.. Talking about a Mortifying Monday.

New week. New list.

Mood: Positive
Done: Breakfast and shower up next
Plans: Study, I won't be home until 6 PM!
Looking at: My laptop's screen
Listening to: Beyoncé - Halo
Reading: Nothing yet
Drinking: Water
Eating: I just ate breakfast
Best: 1 week left until my Birthday! :)
Worst: The fact that Mondays always feel so long
Weather: Still hoping for a "white" Birthday..

Inspiration when it's the best.

Picture: Ebba's blog at the Swedish magazine "Veckorevyn"

I'll let the title speak for itself. Classy. Elegant. Masculine yet feminine. Sexy. Sophisticated. I completely love this outfit! Truly this is inspiration when it's the best.

More information about the outfit tomorrow! One thing's for certain though, the next time I'll be going out I'm sure going to try to copy this outfit with some of the good things in my closet! :) Oh, I can't wait...! Sweet dreams to you all!

Something to look forward to.

Another weekend has reached its end. It's been a hectic week and I've got the feeling that the next week might end up the same. Especially Monday and Wednesday are going to be two very long days.

With a busy schedule and a long list of activities it feels like I'm busy all the time. In some funny way I like it :) being busy and all. Anyway like I mentioned above I've got a long Monday to look forward to tomorrow so I better try to get some sleep.

I hope you all had a great weekend and that you'll have a great start of the new week tomorrow!

L as in Luck.

Picture: L & Me - Taken at V's place at New Year's Eve 08/09

With whom am I suppose to talk to on the morning/evening when I'm sitting on the blue train and you won't be there? With whom am I suppose to walk with on the evenings now that you won't be here?

With whom am I suppose to go home with in the latest of hours when we have been out dancing, now that you won't be taking the same way home?

Well I guess I can come up with some solution to all of that but what's most important is that no matter the distance you will always be one of my best friends. I love you L, you are my luck and I'm sure going to miss the way we used to live a 5-10 minutes walk away from each other. I wish you the very best in your new apartment! ♥

Today's list.

Mood: Disappointed
Done: Helped L move to her new apartment
Plans: Dinner + movie with the family tonight
Looking at: My laptop's screen
Listening to: Leona Lewis - Run
Reading: My notes for the schedule of next week
Drinking: Water
Eating: Dinner in a few hours
Best: I've been looking forward to this weekend..
Worst: This emotional roller coaster that I'm in
Weather: Cold and dark outside

I'm still hoping this to be a bad dream.

Picture: Deviantart

Do you remember those walls I said that I built? Heartache after heartache, suddenly I felt empty deep inside and I was left with a soul full of guilt.

All I ever wanted was to protect myself from men like you, men that would ruin me the same way that you have done now. Love fooled me again and I don't even know how.

The way that I have tried to get to know the real you while all you have done is to shut me out. I've been trying to ignore it, this echo that I've been feeling inside but I'm listening to it now, this distressing doubt.

Someone please tell me that this is nothing but a bad dream. Someone please tell me that this is not happening for real and that it's not as bad as it seems. I'm still hoping this to be a bad dream.

Is there any more room for me in those jeans?

Spring/Summer of 2009 here I come! :) I'm so happy I was able to find the jeans as I mentioned in the post yesterday. I tried them on earlier today in the store and they felt so comfortable and looked so good on!

Finding a good pair of jeans that fits your own body can be really difficult, at least if you've got curves like I do :P Anyway so now I'm ready for the new season to come.

I noticed that the store's website where one also can purchase their clothes online was sold out when it comes to these jeans. So I'm glad I could have one of them. Time to sleep! Sweet dreams.

Get the Style.

Picture: Collage made by me, pictures from Style & Gina

When I first saw this year's pictures from many of the different fashion shows I completely fell in love with Balmain's collection for S/S 09, especially this look as seen above with the "trashy" jeans. Not to mention the gorgeous jacket!

I once had a great pair of jeans from "Replay" that were so worn out that they almost looked like the jeans above from "Gina Tricot". My mom said that I had to throw them away because they looked so awful so I had to let go of them.

Today I regret that decision :( luckily I did find a new pair that looks just like my old jeans except the fact that they are brand new and look like somebody has used them for many years (!). I'm going to try them on tomorrow and we'll see how they fit. More about that tomorrow because now I really need to get some sleep. Sweet dreams!

1000th Post!

Yay! I just saw that this is my 1000th post! :D I honestly had no idea that I had written so many... I think that I will celebrate it over one of my mom's homebaked muffins that she made yesterday!

I just realized how much I'm going to miss her food the day that I move out... Luckily that won't happen within the nearest months so I still have plenty of time to enjoy :)

Trouble in making up my mind.

Picture: DeviantArt

Should I stay or should I let you go? If only someone could tell me so.
Should I let you in or should I just let you rest upon my chest? Somehow my heart still belongs to the man from far out west.

Should I show you more affection or should I just realize that you will never be there. I simply wouldn’t dare.
Should I give you one more chance or should I realize that this is all wrong? I won’t let my soul sing to you anymore, not one single song.

Should I pray and hope that you might come around or should I keep digging my whole in the ground? For some people this might seem so simple but for me it couldn’t be more difficult, do you hear how awful it sounds?

Should I stay or should I let you go? If only you hadn’t hurt me so.

It's gone like the wind.

Finally! You have no idea how happy I felt this morning when I got up feeling all brand new. My cold/flu or whatever it was has disappeared, "it's gone like the wind".

Anyway I should probably take this opportunity and run for a bit now that my energy is back. I'm so excited about the new week that began today, I've got so many fun ideas/projects in my head. More about them later, now: running shoes on before it will get too late!

Probably one of the best photographers in the world.

Picture: Scarlett Johansson, photo taken by Patrick Demarchelier as seen in Café

I believe that the photograph as seen above of the beautiful actress Scarlett Johansson is set to be yet another masterpiece taken by the French famous photographer Patrick Demarchelier.

The set, the style, her endless beauty and the fact that the photograph is black and white takes my breath away. Let's face it. This woman is most certainly one of a kind.

A list on a slow Sunday.

Mood: Tired and still feeling nauseous :(
Done: Breakfast only
Plans: Absolutely nothing. Rest, sleep and rest. I want to get better!
Looking at: My laptop's screen
Listening to:
Reading: Nothing
Drinking: Water
Eating: Thinking of eating makes me feel more sick..
Best: That I'm still not feeling well? (I do hope you understand my irony)
Worst: All this pain..
Weather: Same as usual, cold and windy

What I would like to spend more time on.

Picture: Lisen's blog at Chic

Adorable isn't it? This is what I would like to spend more time on ;)

What if there is a little "lovebug" hidden inside of me?

Earlier today I learnt that one of my personal favorite female blogprofiles has stopped writing (!). A 30-year old female known as Micaela Moreno, who's posts has made me laugh an endless number of times.

From the beginning she was anonymous in her blog but after a while she came out with her real name and started to give more and more advices to females and men when it comes down to love, relationships and more by adding some irony to it at certain points. In other words totally enjoyable reading :)

Anyway as I was going through some of her old posts I found the text as stated underneath and it made me think. What if this "evil virus" that I wrote about in the previous post perhaps is a positive little ladybird that simply has been tickeling me inside? What if it's not the flu but instead the start of something new...?

Sorry I forgot to mention that she's Swedish and that the post is therefore in Swedish but if any of you want me to translate it then don't hesitate in asking in a comment and I promise I'll do it! Here is what she wrote:

"Sjuk"

"Det senaste 27 timmarna har jag spenderat i sängen. Tyvärr INTE som en direkt följd av fredagens date, även om den var magisk. Utan pga. av feber.

Jag har varvat mellan att ligga i min birthdaysuit och flämta ”Ja herrejävlar, nu är jag hamnat i klimakteriet också” och att hacka tänder under 2 duntäcken i flanellpjamas.

Mina s.k. “vänner” påstår att jag inte alls är sjuk. Utan att jag bara har så fruktansvärt dålig koll på
mitt eget känsloliv; ”Känner du dig varm? Svag i knäna? Och mår du lite illa, liksom?”, “Ja, precis”, “Du är ju inte sjuk! Det är så det känns när man börjar tycka om någon, ditt freak”.

Fräckt.

(jag tog tempen, ifall att)"

15 June 2008 17:31 av micaela. | Uncategorized |

What if there is a little "lovebug" hidden inside of me?

I hate this part right here.

Picture: Nope this ain't me but some girl from DeviantArt

After spending a little less than 48 hours in my bed with something that seemed like a never ending headache and stomachache I finally feel a "little" bit better now. Therefore this is the main reason for my absence in the blog and also for why I haven't had the energy to answer to comments, sorry D!

Anyway the fact that I went to S place this last Thursday was perhaps not such a good idea after all. Not when I felt dizzy already on the train and got a tremendous fever when we were watching "The Day after Tomorrow". Despite S best efforts to keep me warm by having me put on one of his sweaters, lie in his arms and underneath his down comforter I simply could not stop freezing.

The worst part was when I had to go home, all alone in the middle of the night and feeling like a pale wreck with a sweaty forehead. Somehow I managed to get home and so I slept almost the entire Friday and so almost the entire Saturday (today that is). The most important thing is that I only blame myself for visiting him despite the signs of my poor health. But hey, I just wanted to see him. That's all.

I normally don't get "this sick", it's been years since I had the flu or I like I wrote in the previous posts I don't even know if I have the flu but I sure do have some kind of evil virus inside my body and it's killing me! (not in literary terms though.. I hope you all know that it's just an expression, just to show you what kind of pain I'm going through right now).. :( Sorry for yet another pitiful post but you'll have to forgive me for this post as well. I'm just not feeling well.

Give me my strength back.

It's been an awful day. Yesterday too by the way. My cold seems to have turned into a dreadful flu :(

I don't know what it is but I've been feeling really "weak" all day and so my head started to ache during the afternoon. Could someone please give me my strength back?

Anyway I'm heading towards S in less than one hour, I know it's probably not such a good idea but he's been sick too so we'll probably end up in front of a movie or something and just take it easy (it's not like I've got the energy to do anything anyway).

Sorry for this negative post but I just had to "complain" just a little. I should probably get ready I've been looking like a ghost the entire day (!) so right now my concealer, rouge and mascara are my best friends.

What would I have done without them on a day like this? :) Anyway may you all have a great evening!

Beautiful covers.

Picture: Collage made by me, pictures found through google

One of my best friends E asked me just the other day if I wanted to borrow her books and start reading the first novel "Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer and I'm actually considering doing that.

Now that I have seen the beautiful covers of all four novels I think I might give her a call and ask if I can borrow the first one, she's probably almost through the second by now! :)

Have any of you had the time to read any of these novels? I'm just curious of what you think of them so don't hesitate in writing a short comment! ;)

Terrific Tuesday.

Mood: Nothing but smiles thanks to a good night's sleep
Done: Tidy up my bedroom
Plans: Not sure of what to do yet, the plan was to go out on a winter walk with S.
Looking at: My laptop's screen
Listening to: The Ting Tings - That's not my name
Reading: Nothing yet
Drinking: C-vitamin in a glass of water, my throat still feels sore :(
Eating: Lunch soon
Best: I've got the feeling that it's going to be a good day :)
Worst: No nothing like that today
Weather: Grey, windy and the temperature is around 0 ° C

Bella's Lullaby - Yiruma.

Even though I haven't seen the movie "Twilight" nor read the novels written by Stephenie Meyer (which from what I've heard are to be spectacular!) I still find myself listening to a very popular melody from the movie called "Bella's Lullaby" by a composer named Yiruma.

Since I'm such a big fan of the piano it did not take me that long before I fell in love with this beautiful song and so I've been listening to it almost the entire day.

So for those of you who might have seen the film, read the books or perhaps just love piano music like I do? Listen to the clip above and I'm very positive that you are going to like it too :) Have a great day/evening everyone!

Absent yet present.

You are present, still I get the impression of that your heart is not here. For I have been trying to reach out to you and for some reason you are not near.

Please, talk to me and let me know of what you fear. For this I promise you, I won't run away I will stay and I will hold your hand in mine, please listen to me my dear.

The way you hold me in your arms, I can tell that it is not the first time. Most of us have been hurt once or perhaps twice before, to break one heart is an unforgettable crime.

The way that you kiss my hand, I want to see more of that man. In th end all I ever tried was to be your greatest fan.

I have said it before, you know that I prefer honesty above all. Please, tell me why I still can't get through to you and what I need to be able to climb over this gigantic wall?

If your intentions are not the same as mine please say so and I will try to leave you alone. For I will wait today and maybe tomorrow with one eye on the clock and one on the phone.

Charlize Theron for Dior.

Picture: Improve Me

Inspiration for Spring/Summer of 2009. This year I want to glow just like Charlize Theron does in the new Christian Dior campaign for their perfume j'adore. The makeup is flawless and the hair stunning, spray-tan up next? :)

A list on a Sunny Sunday.

Mood: Tired, haven't slept well two days in a row (!)
Done: Breakfast (check), shower up next
Plans: Town with E in the afternoon and spend time with the family tonight
Looking at: My laptop's screen
Listening to: T-Pain feat. Lil Wayne - Can't believe it
Reading: Nothing yet
Drinking: Water
Eating: Just ate breakfast
Best: 22 days left..! (To my birthday) ;)
Worst: That I'm tired but I'll hopefully wake up after the shower
Weather: Cold, really cold -10 ° C but the sun is out! :)

Tonight's Quote.

Picture: DeviantArt

"One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter."
- James Earl Jones -

I nattens sena timme.

I nattens sena timme ditt ansikte jag ser. När en svag strimma månljus lägger sig likt en tunn silkeshinna över dina ögon, blundar jag och ler.

En kyss kan som bekant få vilken kvinna som helst på fall, när ett glädjerus sprider sig likt en löpeld i hela kroppen och gör sig påmind i knävecken. Endast i din närhet tycks kärleken vara outgrundlig då jag bär på nervositetens tecken.

Osäker om vad som komma skall. Osäker om detta kan komma att leda till ännu ett djupt fall.

Mitt i all ovisshet finns det några få saker som lugnar även det sköraste bland hjärtan. En oändlig nattsvart himmel med stjärnor som leker eller ett leende vacker som en gryning kan avlägsna även den tyngsta smärtan.

I nattens sena timme ditt ansikte jag ser. I tystnad läser jag några få rader som jag kan utantill, det är till änglarna som vakar över dig som jag ber.

Shining Star.

Picture: Private - My beautiful snowflake in my bedroom window, it is my shining star

New Year's Resolutions.

I've been reading quite many blogs where people decided to write about all the bad/good things that the previous year gave them. When I read D's post about her New Year's Resolutions I realized I wanted to do the same thing she did.

Just like she wrote "I'm not going to make a list of what 2008 has brought me, I know what it has." but instead write a list of a few things that hopefully shall help me grow more as a person by setting up new goals and other dreams that might come true.

These are my New Year's Resolutions:

♥ Learn how to regonize my weaknesses and to stop hiding behind them
♥ Strive to have a better balance in my life (family/friends/love/relationships etc)
♥ Continue to have an "open door" towards other people and ignore thoughts that can be related to prejudice
♥ Try not to spend money on unnecessary junk but instead save that money for the future
♥ Tell my family/friends how much I love them more often
♥ Take my driver's licence
♥ I shall pray that my beloved ones shall remain healthy and stay happy throughout the year
♥ Surprise people with good things more often
♥ Continue to sing - the one thing that always make any wound inside my heart/soul heal
♥ Help out more at home (cleaning/cooking/keep my room clean..)
♥ Try to exercise more often to remain healthy and strong
♥ Try my very best to be a better daughter/friend/person/sister by setting a good example

Happy New Year!

Picture: DeviantArt